Stairway to Haven
by NehnehR
Summary: Haven Ellis has only been a shifter for few weeks when her family is killed by a mysterious vampire who wants to use her. Her life seems to be getting better when she moves to La Push and befriends Renesmee Cullen. Things aren't always as they seem.
1. Before

A/N: Thanks to Dazz for being my beta and mediate89 just for cracking me up. Hope you all enjoy the story :)

Disclaimer: Everything that's SM's is hers the rest is mine!

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**Chapter one: Before**

_Heaven is a place nearby_

_So I won't be so far away_

_And if you try and look for me_

_Maybe you'll find me someday_

Lene Marlin ~ A Place Nearby

I took a deep breath and let the smells overwhelm my senses. It smelled wonderful, a mixed of wet grass, moss and wolf. It didn't bother me like I thought it would, it made everything feel more comforting and familiar. This was my home, where I was meant to be. I knew that but it didn't make being here easier. I didn't know if the other wolves would help me or what they were like. I wished my sister were with me, She was always the wise one. But she was gone now, and I was alone.

I thought back to when this all started, back to that horrible day when I lost everyone I loved because of what I was, because someone wanted to use my power and me. I had only started shifting for a few weeks so my grandmother recommended that I go to a forest and shift everyday just to be sure I didn't loose my temper at school. I also tried using my powers on trees and rocks but it always ended with things burning or exploding. You see, ever since I had shifted for the first time, I could transform my emotions into energy and transfer it through my palms. Well, that's what we thought it was, because I couldn't really control it and there was no way of telling what was actually happening.

After an hour or so of training I got sick of it and headed home. As I got closer to my apartment building something started tickling my nose. It was disgustingly sweet and all my instincts went into overdrive. I was at the bottom of my building and I could clearly hear what was going on inside. There were only two heartbeats but there were definitely more people. I couldn't move. I knew I needed to do something but nothing happened. I just stood there in the entrance of the building with my back against the wall and listened.

"Where is she?" It was a man's voice and it sent shivers through my spine. I felt my fingers dig into the wall behind me.

"I don't know what you want, but you might as well finish this quickly so we can save everyone time," my mother answered. My heart stopped at the sound of her words. What did she mean by 'finish it'? I tried again to get my legs to move but it was like I didn't control it anymore. I could hear and see everything but when I tried to do anything my body didn't respond.

"Very well," the man continued, "we'll find her without you."

There was a movement, like something was being dragged, I heard my mother whisper "Run" and just like that my legs started moving. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't care. I didn't care either that I was definitely going much faster than any human could. I just ran, as fast as I could and as far as I could and let my instincts guide me.

I don't know how long I ran and I didn't really pay attention if anyone noticed me or followed me. I ended up at my grandmother's house, which seemed to be the most rational thing to do given that she was the one who had explained about being a wolf. She would know what had just happened. The door flew open and I was pulled inside. My instincts kicked in again and I started violently shaking. I let out a very deep growl and pushed my attacker against the wall.

"It's just me," my grandmother's voice soothed me, "I just didn't want anyone to see you. Please try to calm down. If you shift now, you'll just bring attention to us."

I relaxed slightly when I realized what was going on but it took me a long time to stop shaking. When I was calm enough to think clearly I started to replay the recent events in my head. Little by little I realized what had happened and I collapsed to the floor. My mother had been killed. My mother had been killed and I ran. Instead of saving her I just ran away. I felt warm arms wrap around me but I pushed them away.

"It's going to be alright," she whispered, "You did the right thing you know."

"It…it's all…" I stuttered between sobs "all because… because of me. " I finished, pushing her arms away from me when she tried again to pull me into her arms. I didn't want her to comfort me. I didn't deserve it.

"Now you listen to me," she said in a firm voice, "this is not your fault! You need to calm down and listen because we don't have very much time." She grabbed my face and forced me to look at her.

"I don't want to listen," I yelled at her and I felt my body start to shake again, "I'm sick of this. I don't want to be a wolf. I don't want powers! I just want it all to go away!" I felt so childish but I didn't care. I wanted to go back to when the biggest problem in my life was which ice cream flavor I liked. "I want my mommy back…"

"I know you do and I wish I could bring her back to you, but we can't," my grandmother whispered, sitting down next to me and pulling my chin up to look at her. "We can't bring her back but you can make her proud. She died saving you and you need to prove that she made the right choice. You need to become a strong woman and use your powers for good things. Most importantly you have to get away from whatever's after you. Do you understand me?"

She was right, I needed to live so mother's death wouldn't be in vain. I didn't know how to do that, but I was pretty sure my grandmother had everything planed out. I nodded at her so she continued. "I had papers made for you a while ago, they say that you're 16 and emancipated. Now I don't want to know where you're going so I had them made for many different countries. I also put all of my money in an account in your new name; you'll have more than enough to do whatever you want for a while if you're careful. You need to hide and under no circumstances are you to let whatever that was at your house get you."

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't even think straight. Where should I go? Why wasn't she coming with me? How was I going to run from something I knew nothing about? I had so many questions to ask but the only thing that came out was "I love you" and I threw myself into her open arms.

We sat like that for a few minutes before she started to push me away. I didn't want to get up because I knew that this was the last time I'd see her.

"We don't have much time honey," she whispered pushing me up, I gave in and got to my feet. She walked over to the table, pulling me along with her and picked up a bag that was sitting on a chair. She slid it on my arm before pulling me into a hug. This all seemed so final. I didn't cry though, I even forced myself to smile when she pulled back to look at me. "Everything you need is in that bag, go now and know that no matter what we will never be far."

"I love you grandma," was all I could say as I turned and slowly walked away. I didn't look back, afraid I wouldn't be able to leave if I did. As soon as I was out the door I started running.

I ran for months, I ran as far as I could and for as long as I could. I lost track of time and where I was. When I got to inhabited places I wondered through the cities as a human and went wolf as soon as I was far enough to be sure no one would see me. I mourned for my family; the pain of losing them was almost unbearable. I never smelled their attacker so I guessed he wasn't following me but I still didn't know where I was going to stop and I didn't want to so I just kept on running. I stopped only when my feet wouldn't carry me anymore or when the hunger became stronger than the pain.

Then finally one day, I collapsed on the forest floor. I don't know where I was but I was done running. My body shifted back into human form and for the first time in months I cried. I cried until the tears wouldn't come any more and somewhere along the way I feel asleep.

I dreamt I was in a forest that I seemed to know but I was pretty sure I'd never been there before. I heard a howl and immediately started running to where the sound was coming. I realized I could here others speaking but it was very strange, like they were talking in my head. Everything was so confusing. Before long, I reached a clearing and I could see four wolves waiting for me. What was strange is I could see myself through their eyes and it wasn't me. I was normally a very light reddish-brown wolf but in my dream I was sandy brown.

"Alice had a vision," the russet wolf thought, "it's not very clear but she's pretty sure the Volturi are after someone and since she can't see who it is she thinks it's a half-breed."

I had no idea what he was talking about but somehow I felt like I did.

"Bella and Edward are going to go with her to try to help whoever they're after, I want Embry and Quil to go with them to help," the russet wolf continued, turning toward a chocolate wolf as he whined. The image of a small girl popped into my head and I felt a enormous wave of love. "I know Quil, but Alice says that's who she needs coming with her. She's getting better at guessing around us and this is the best choice. I'm sorry about Claire, I swear someone will go watch her everyday so that you can see her."

"Well we wouldn't want to contradict the leeches now would we?" the grey wolf sitting at his right said and it was my turn to whine though I wasn't really sure why I didn't like her calling them leeches. She just rolled her eyes at me before adding. "So how do we know this half breed even wants our help? Maybe it wants to go to the Volturi."

"Don't bet against Alice, Lee, " the last wolf added. He was grey with a few black spots and I felt drawn towards him. I tried to get closer to him but my body didn't move.

"Yeah, she knows what she's talking about Lee. If she says someone needs our help then someone needs our help," I said, but my thoughts weren't mine, I hadn't thought that but the body I was in did. It was a male voice and it felt so familiar.

Then everything went blurry and what I dreamt of next I don't remember. When I woke up, I knew that no matter what I needed to find the wolves in my dream. I hoped they were real and if they were I knew where to find them: the place my great grandmother had gotten pregnant, the place where my curse came from, La Push, Washington.

And so for the first time in months I knew what I was going to do. I figured out where I was, by wondering to the nearest city. Apparently I was in Estonia so I ran to the capital, Tallinn, and found the airport to try to get a flight to America. Pretty soon I was on a flight to Seattle.

Once I got there, I bought a car and drove to Portland. Luckily, my mom had taught me how to drive when I turned 14 and my grandmother had thought of having a driver's license done along with the other papers. I then found a realtor and told him I wanted a house in La Push. Of course, he thought it was weird that a 16-year-old girl was buying a house so it took about a month for him to verify everything. I didn't go to La Push. I felt like I should only go there once everything was done, it was probably foolish of me but I felt more comfortable that way.

The realtor found me a beautiful house, which was way too big for me but I bought it anyways because my mom would have loved it. I went and bought furniture and clothes and anything I thought I might need in my new life. I must admit that I went a little crazy with the shopping and bought way too much stuff, but I had a big empty house to fill and hopefully I would soon have some friends over to see it. I held on to that hope to keep me going and with everyday that past the pain I in my heart slowly started to fade. I still missed them but I knew they were watching over me.

So there I was, June 17th 2010, six months after my life was changed forever, standing in front of my house in La Push and ready to start a new life with people I didn't know but I would learn to trust, people I would learn to love as much more than just friends. When I walked into my new house I wasn't ready for everything that was going to happen here. I thought it would be a simple task: either they helped me or they didn't. I had never been so wrong in my life.

My name is Haven Ellis and this is my story.


	2. New Ending

**Chaper 2:** New Ending

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

Maria Robinson

I got up from the couch and started pacing for the two thousandth time in the last twenty-four hours. I felt like a lion trapped in a cage. I really needed to get out because I couldn't think of a single thing I could do in this house. I'd been in La Push a grand total of three days, two of which I spent moving in and cleaning and I was already going insane.

I'd moved the furniture around at least ten times until it was absolutely perfect. I put away clothes, dishes, and books and even cleaned my room three times. I hoped Mom was watching me because she'd never believe it unless she saw it with her own eyes.

And in all this time no one had showed up. I could smell the other wolves so they could smell me right? Well if they could they certainly didn't seem to care. I could hear them in the forest and every time I heard the sound of their paws on the soft ground I hoped they were on their way here. But they never came. Sometimes I hoped it was because they didn't know I was here but then the strong smell of wolf saturated the air and I realized there was no way that was possible. They just didn't want to help, so they ignored me instead.

I sighed and fell back down onto the couch. I switched on the TV and flipped through the channels. I wasn't really paying attention because there never was anything interesting on. I used to love watching television. I watched everything and anything. My sister was the bookworm and I was the couch potato. I smiled at the memory of my mother trying to get me to turn it off. If she were here she'd tell me to get up of my sorry ass and go do something useful instead of melting my brain cells on worthless shows. So that's exactly what I decided to do. I switched off the TV and marched straight out the door. If they didn't want to help me then they were going to have to say it to my face.

I walked towards the woods and listened for any footsteps, well paw steps and heard nothing so I just kept on walking. It's not like I could get lost right? After about ten minutes of pointless wondering I walked into a meadow. I realized that walking aimlessly around the forest wasn't the best idea since they probably didn't want to be found. So I went and laid down in the middle of the meadow to try to figure something out. The sun was shining and it felt wonderful on my skin. I closed my eyes and tried to figure out a plan.

If they didn't want to be caught I'd have to figure out who they were and confront them in a public place so they couldn't get away. But then again they could always pretend they didn't know what the hell I was talking about and then people would think I'm some crazy lunatic. Maybe I could go to one of their houses and demand that they listen. But there too I didn't know if their families knew about everything and I didn't want to embarrass them, or myself for that matter. I thought of chasing one of them until I caught them but I really didn't know if I could out run them. If they were anything like the wolves in my dream, they are much bigger than me, which probably means they're faster.

I heard a noise in the forest to my right and I tried not to move praying it was one of them and they would think I was asleep. I laid very still and tried to keep my heartbeat at a normal pace but it seemed to have a mind of its own. There was a gust of wind and the sweetest smell I'd ever smelled filled my mind. It was an indescribable mix of perfection. I gasped and sat up whipping my head around in the direction of the smell. I heard a whine so low if I hadn't been listening desperately for anything I wouldn't have heard it. There was a wolf there, I couldn't see his face but his eyes were locked with mine. Somewhere in the back of my head, I thought that I should look away but I couldn't. I knew that if I did, I would probably never see those eyes again. For all I know I was imagining everything.

I stood up never taking my eyes away from his and slowly stepped forward afraid it was a mirage and would vanish if I got too close. The wolf took a step forward as he let out another whine. This one was one of longing, like a puppy whining for his mother. It broke my heart and I walk just a little faster. As a got to the edge of the forest another wolf came running out of nowhere and ran right into my wolf knocking him deeper in the forest where I couldn't see him.

I froze. Once again when my feet needed to be running I froze. I was really going to have to work on that. I concentrated very hard, trying to see further than my wolf eyes could see but there was nothing there. So I listened and I heard nothing. All these stupid over developed senses never came in handy when you actually needed them. I turned back towards the meadow already longing to look back into those mesmerizing eyes. I started walking back to where I was sitting and glanced towards the forest a few times just in case. That's probably why I didn't see her walk out of the forest because when I finally realized someone else was there she was already standing ten feet away. I did a double take and let out a small and very embarrassing squeak. Note to self: no more squeaking in public.

"You shouldn't be out here" she said, her voice was so familiar. She didn't look very happy and her eyes were like daggers. I swear if she could have she would have killed me right then and there.

"I'm s-sorry" I stuttered, "Is this your property? I'm new around here. I didn't know. It won't happen again…. I-you… I'm just gonna go now" I couldn't seem to make a normal sentence so she probably just thought I was stupid. I turned around to leave which was ridiculous because I came from the other side, but I wasn't going to change directions now, she already thought I was stupid. Unfortunately for me, she noticed.

"Wait, kid, " she said grabbing me by the shoulder and turning me back around. To my big surprise she was smiling. "First of all, this is no one's property, it's just very dangerous out here and God knows how much I don't want you getting hurt. Secondly, I'd like to talk to you and thirdly you're going the wrong way. Your house is that way." She finished pointing in the opposite direction I had just been going and smiling widely at me.

I just pushed her hands away from my shoulders and started to walk away. "I can very well take care of myself and I know where I live I just wanted to go for a walk before I went home. I've been locked in my house since I got here you know. I feel so welcome here." I spat at her sarcastically and to my surprise she smiled wider.

"Listen kid, we can go for a walk if you want but I'm not letting you out of my line of sight, so might as well get used to it." She crossed her arms on her chest and stared at me. I crossed my arms just like hers and stared back. She was an incredibly beautiful woman. She looked in her early twenties, with short pitch-black hair. Her skin was a beautiful copper tone and her deep black eyes were beautiful and threatening.

"Fine whatever" I said giving up, " So what? You're gonna follow me around like a watch dog or something? What's the big threat anyways?"

She huffed but kept smiling; I guess she liked me or that she had something wrong with her facial muscles because I really couldn't see why else she wouldn't stop smiling. Well maybe I was just hoping she liked me. "Listen, let's start this over kid, " she held out her hand towards me, "Hi, nice to meet you, my name's Leah but most people call me Lee."

My heart forgot to beat for a moment when I heard her name. Lee. She was the wolf from my dream. She was real, maybe they all were. I mean, I knew there were wolves but I only hoped they were the ones from my dream. This couldn't be a coincidence. I quickly took her hand and shook it.

"I'm -," I stuttered almost saying my old name, "my name's Haven and no one calls me kid."

"Well now I do kid, so get used to it." She said," Where do you want to go for your walk?"

"I don't know I was just wondering around" I answered, raising my shoulders, "let's just go that way." I pointed in the direction were the wolf had left, hoping we would see him.

She rolled her eyes and started walking. It was quiet for a long time, neither of us spoke but I felt very comfortable with Leah. I didn't know where I was going but tried very hard to follow the trail left by my wolf. After a while though she started glancing at me from the corner of her eyes when she thought I wasn't looking. It was really starting to get annoying.

"What?" I said after she glanced for the four hundredth time. She stopped walking and stared at the ground. I saw her hesitate a few times like she want to say something but just couldn't find the right words. "Just spit it out Leah, I don't bite and in case you hadn't notice you're kind of scary so even if I did I wouldn't try."

She looked up at me and smiled before blurting out: "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"What?" I answered stupidly. Why did she care about that? She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to one side. "I mean, no! Of course not! My mother and sister died 6 months ago! The last thing I'm thinking about right now is having a boyfriend! What the hell do you want to know anyways?" I crossed my arms on my chest and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh," she said putting her hand on her mouth, "I'm sorry Haven, I didn't know about your mother and sister. I mean it's none of my business if you have a boyfriend or not. I just wanted to get to know you better, that's all." She looked at me with sad eyes. It was strange that somebody who barely knew me would actually worry about me. I guess I was wrong about the wolves not caring. Apparently Leah did.

I looked down at the ground and started digging into the soft ground with my foot.

"No, it's ok. You couldn't have known," I said fighting back the urge to cry. I really didn't need to cry in front of Leah. "I'm sorry I –I" the tears started rolling down my face and I turned away and started to run.

"Hey, wait!" I heard Leah yell behind me and I stopped unable to resist her demand. I heard her coming up behind me and soon felt her hands on my shoulders as she turned me around to face her. "I'm sorry kid, I really am. You shouldn't be ashamed of crying for your family. I lost my dad a few years ago and up to this day not a second goes by that I don't mourn his absence." She pulled me into her arms and I rested my head on her chest. It felt so warm and safe, just like my mom's did. "I know this is going to sound weird because we just met, but you can always count on me kid. No matter what you need I'll always be there for you. Now why don't we go back to your house and you can tell me about your family. You'll see it helps to remember them."

She lifted my chin so that I was looking at her and I just nodded. I followed her as she walked and after a few minutes we exited the forest right in my yard. I walked into the house with Leah trailing behind me and curled up on the nearest couch. She sat down next to me and pulled me down so my head was lying on her lap. If I had an older sister, I would have wanted her to be like Leah. She didn't say anything and just let me cry. I saw a few tears roll down her cheeks as she started to play with my hair. I felt a little better knowing that someone as strong as her would cry in front of me, so I smiled at her. She wiped away the tears on my face and smiled back.

"So are you ready to tell me about your mom?" she asked. I sat up and nodded.

"Mom was a lot like you actually. She always knew what to do and what to say to make me feel better. She wasn't the hugging kind but when I really needed one she had the best hug. She always tried to do what's right and told us to think things through before we did anything rash. My sister was just like her. " I said playing with the bracelet my sister had given me, "I just miss them so much, you know? "

"Yeah, I know kid, I know," she said patting my knee, "You'll see, we'll take good care of you here, I promise. So tell me about your sister."

"We were inseparable, which is funny because we were complete opposites," I said crossing my legs in front of me on the couch, "She always thought a lot before doing anything and I always just did everything I felt like. I love clothes and stuff and she just wore whatever she found on the top of her pile. The one thing we had in common was music. We both loved to sing and liked the same songs."

I told her stories about when I was a kid and everything seemed so easy, about how I used to drag my sister into a lot of trouble. She was always too serious and I was kind of jealous so I made her draw on walls and climb onto my grandma's roof to get a better view of the garden. Of course my mom always figured out that I was behind everything and I ended up being punished too but I didn't care. We were a unit and as so if one of us was into trouble we both were. This was the first time I had to go through something without her. I wished she was here with me. I wished I could just talk to her even for a short time. I hoped she knew how much she meant to me.

Leah didn't say anything as I told her everything about my life before I got here. She just smiled at the right moments and squeezed my hand when I needed support. For some reason, I never talked about being a wolf and she didn't ask. I wondered if she even knew it. I don't know why but I decided not to tell her.

When I was finished telling her about how my sister and I had loosened the bolts on the neighbor's wheels to see if they would come off when he drove away, we were laughing so hard that I couldn't breath. It was amazing how easy our relationship was. We had just met and yet it felt like I'd known her forever.

After I'd finally calmed down, I looked outside and realized that the sun had already set. My stomach made a very loud growling sound. I guess it was time I started eating on a regular basis.

"You want to eat something?" I asked as I got up and walk into my kitchen. It was a very big, modern kitchen made mostly out of stainless steal and marble. It had a central island with a few stools around it.

"Sure, " Leah answered, pulling out one of the stools and sitting on it, "What have you got?"

I started opening cupboards trying to find something to eat but I came up empty handed except for a box of cereal. I really hadn't been eating since I got here. Leah frowned when she saw the empty shelves.

"Cereal is fine for today, but tomorrow I'm taking you to the store and you'd better start eating better than that." She said grabbing two bowls and filling them both to the very top. "And what about school? You're going to go to high school on the res right? Do you need help with that?"

"Um-" I answered hesitantly, "I don't know. I didn't even think of that. I mean I guess I should finish high school at least…" I trailed off not wanting to think about a possible future I felt so undeserving of.

"You're damn right you're going to finish high school," Leah answered between huge bites, "and you're going to go to college after that, you hear me?" I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. I normally didn't like to be told what to do but right now it was nice to have someone care enough to worry about my future even if I didn't.

"So tomorrow, we'll get all that straightened out ok?" she asked but the look in her eyes said it wasn't really a question. I didn't even bother answering so she continued. "I'll bring my little brother along cause he's always so damn happy you just can't be sad when he's here. I'm sure you two will get along _REALLY _well." She winked at me and I blushed. She chuckled slightly before adding. "I know a girl I'm sure you'd like but her parents are weird and don't let her out much. I'll try to bring her by one of these days so you two can keep each other company. She doesn't have many friends her age."

I was about to answer when I heard a wolf howl in the forest behind my house. I ran to the window desperately hoping it was my wolf but I saw nothing. I turn around and saw Leah putting her bowl in the sink.

"Are you leaving?" I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice. Leah was the only company I'd had in a long time and I still didn't quite believe she would come back the next day.

"Yeah kid, I've gotta go." She said walking to the front door as I followed close behind. "But I promise I'll be here first thing tomorrow okay?" She picked up a paper on the table next to the door and scribbled a number on it before handing it back to me. "If you need anything before then, just call me."

"Thanks Leah," I took the paper from her and tried my best to smile, "for everything. I'll see you tomorrow"

The wolf howled again but much closer this time and Leah muttered something that sounded like "I'm coming so shut up" before turning around and walking away.

"See ya kid and I already told you to call me Lee"

I closed the door and slid down it, pulling the paper to my chest. This was the beginning of my new life and it all started with Lee.


	3. Boys Boys Boys

**Chapter 3: Boys Boys Boys**

"One kiss breaches the distance between friendship and love"

_Anonymous_

Right after Leah had left me I went to bed, afraid I would call her if I stayed awake and make myself look like a big baby. I didn't sleep long though, the neighbor decided this was the perfect time to scream at his child and teach him a few swear words in the process. He'd been doing this every night since I'd moved in and I'd never actually seen the poor kid. So I figured that since I was already awake I might as well go and see if he wasn't actually insane and yelling at no one.

I walked over to the window of my bedroom and looked over at the small house. It was a cute little cottage at the edge of the forest but it looked like no one had taken care of it for years. It was surrounded by a huge garden that no one had touched since what looked like forever. You could still see parts of the stone paths that must have gone through it. The house itself was very dark but I could see two people in it, one cowering on a couch while the other stood waving his arms around holding what looked like a bottle. I couldn't see their faces because thin curtains were pulled in front of the widow like they always were every second of the day.

A few seconds after I got to my window, the shouting stopped and the front door opened. Someone walked out to sit on the front steps. I heard the father shout something I didn't understand from inside the house so I figured the person outside must be the kid. I wanted to get a better look at him so I opened my window and jumped down to the ground. Sometimes being a wolf was pretty fun. I snuck towards the little cottage to where I could see the boy's face. I was stunned to see that he didn't look Indian at all. His skin was too dark and his hair had tight curls. He looked like he was around my age and had those awkward long limbs that teenage boys get. He had his hands on his face and it sounded like he was crying.

I know the smart thing to do was turn around and leave but I wanted to do something to help him. So I stepped forward and sat on the step next to him. He didn't even seem to acknowledge I was there and continued his quiet sobbing.

"Are you alright?" I asked and immediately wanted to hit myself for being so nosy. He didn't answer for a long time. I watched him as I waited for him to answer. His hair was a mess and he was wearing a blue shirt and khaki shorts. He really needed someone to teach him how to dress and do something with his hair. With a little help, I was sure he would be pretty hot.

After a while he whipped his face around and looked at me. I tried smiling at him but when I did that he looked away.

"So you're the new neighbor?" he asked staring ahead, "Sorry if my father woke you up."

"Nah don't worry about it," I shrugged, "I couldn't sleep anyways. That house is just too big without my mom."

He finally turned to look at me and gave me a weak smile. "I know what you mean. Ever since my mom died even this small house seems huge. Is your mom…" he trailed off and I nodded. "I'm sorry…"

"At least it gives us something in common right?" I smiled weakly at him and he smiled back. "My name's Haven by the way. It's nice to meet you." I said putting my hand out for him to shake.

"Sean," he answered his smile widening, "You don't look Indian." he blurted out, putting a hand on his mouth as a horrified expression appeared on his face. I burst out laughing and he tilted his head to the side probably wondering what I thought was so funny.

"You don't look very Indian yourself!" I pointed out pulling on his messy curls. He stared at me for a second before laughing lightly and pushing my hand away.

"Yeah, well I am," he said simply. I raised a skeptic eyebrow at him and he added, "My mom was African American and my dad's Quileute."

Something broke inside the house, and his father started cursing. He looked at the house and then back at me.

"I should go put him in bed before he kills himself," he said getting up. "It was nice talking to you Haven."

"You should come over and hang out sometime. Well, if you think you can walk all the way to my house," I teased sticking my tongue out at him. He playfully pushed my shoulder before quickly putting his hands back in his pockets. "If you need anything, at anytime, my bedroom's that one," I added pointing to my window, "but you can just knock at the front door since I'm the only one living there."

There was more swearing and breaking glass inside Sean's house. "Yeah sure thing, thanks Hav," he said rushing back to the door. "Try to sleep."

"I don't sleep well alone." I said before I could stop myself. "But I'll try. Bye." I turned and walked away as fast as I could. I climbed back into my room, not bothering to go around to the front door.

I laid back in bed and stared at the ceiling. I smiled at myself thinking about my new friend. I wondered what happened to his mom. I hoped he would be going to high school on the rez. Maybe we would have classes together. It would be nice to know someone.

I had started to drift to sleep when a noise in the hallway woke me up. I sat up in bed and listened. I could hear light footsteps in the hallway, they were getting closer. Soon, the door knob turned and the door slowly began to open. I curled as far back as I could and hugged my pillow.

"Hav," the person whispered and I relaxed when I recognized Sean's voice, "Are you awake?"

"No shit Sherlock," I spat at him, "you scared the living hell out of me." I got up and yanked the door open all the way. He just stood there, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, sorry. I shouldn't have come." He started to turn back and I sighed.

"Well you're here now and I'm wide awake. You might as well stay now." I caught his arm and pulled him to my bed before sitting down. He looked awkwardly around and I realized he probably couldn't see much. I leaned over and switched on the lamp. "Sit down and tell me what brought you here."

He hesitated for a minute and then sat down on the hedge of the bed. He really looked like a lost puppy. "I just…well you said that… I mean I can't…" he stuttered. I chuckled and scooted closer to him.

"Just relax and tell me." I laid my head on his shoulder and yawned. Sean made me feel safe, something I hadn't felt in a very long time. It was nice. I hoped he wasn't planning on leaving soon. We sat like that for sometime, long enough that I almost fell asleep. I listened to the even sound of his breathing. It was liked a sweet lullaby.

He finally took a deep breath and I heard his heartbeat accelerate as he turned to me and said, "You said, you don't like sleeping alone. Neither do I so I figured we could sleep together." He started playing with the hem of his shirt. "I mean not together together, just like maybe I can sleep on the floor or something."

"You don't have to sleep on the floor," I said standing up and motioning for him to follow me as I walked towards the next room. "You can either sleep on that bed or bring the mattress in my room." I said, pointing toward the double size bed in the other bedroom.

He hesitated before walking over to the bed and picking up the mattress. He was pretty strong for someone so thin. I got him sheets and a pillow and we made his bed silently. It all seemed so normal even though I didn't even know him.

When we were done, I climbed back into bed and turned of the light. It wasn't long before I feel drifted off to the best sleep I'd had in months.

* * *

I was woken up the next morning by a knock on the door. I rolled over and noticed the mattress on the floor was gone. Maybe I had dreamed what had happened last night.

There was another knock and I whined as I got out of bed. I dragged myself to the front door and yanked it open.

I ran face to face, well more like face to chest, with the most beautiful male body I'd ever seen. It was perfect, muscular but not too much with a beautiful copper tone and perfectly smooth skin. And it smelled heavenly, like pine trees, wolf and something sweet that tickled my nose. I gasped and heard a chuckle coming from behind the beautiful male model standing in front of me. I backed away and looked up at the body's face. It was even more beautiful then the rest. He looked younger than I thought he would and had a magnificent warm smile. His eyes were a perfect black and I felt like I could stair into them forever. I noticed his eyes rake over me with concern and I suddenly felt self-conscious. I bit my lip and looked at my feet blushing.

"Hi," he said nervously. His voice was soft and comforting. I couldn't help but look back up at him.

"Hi," I said back in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. I blushed again and quickly looked away. I heard the chuckle again; I was going to have to kick that person's ass when Mr. UnderwearModel was gone. I started playing with the hem of my shirt and realized that I was still in my Eeyore pajamas.

"I'm sorry, maybe we came too early. We'll come back later so you can sleep some more." He said in a worried tone.

"NO!" I answered a little too fast. I thought about what to say next. I already made a big enough fool of myself. What did it matter now? "I mean, I was already up, I just hadn't changed or anything. You can come in while I get ready. I mean if you want to of course."

"You shouldn't let people you don't know in like that you know?" he said in a firm voice, I looked up at him confused. What was it to him anyways?

"Oh shut up Seth!" I heard Leah say. She pushed the man to the side and walked right into the living room. "She's a big girl and you're going to come in anyways so just relax." She sat down on a couch and turned on the TV. I just stood there not sure of what to do.

"I'm Seth," the man whispered after a few minutes of very awkward silence.

"Yeah, I figured" I answered. "You can come in. I'm just gonna go… " I trailed off pointing upstairs. He just stared at me with the most haunted look I'd ever seen. It was like he was having an internal debate with himself. I figured this was my time to leave so I turned to go when a hand grabbed my wrist firmly. My instincts kicked in, I ripped my hand out of his and growled. I spin around to face my attacker only to find a dumbfounded Seth staring back at me.

"I-I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked stepping towards me. I tried very hard not to walk away but as he got closer I couldn't help but turn around and run up the stairs. When I got to the top, I closed my door as gently as I could and tried to hear if he was gone. I could still hear the TV but that was about it. I really hope I hadn't hurt his feelings, I don't know why I reacted like that with him.

I needed to calm down before I went back downstairs. I picked up whatever clothes were on the top of the pile. When I looked at them I realized that the colors didn't match and they looked like something Sean would wear. I needed something more feminine. I dug through my closet to find a jean skirt and purple tank top.

After a very long and hot shower, I climbed out and pulled on my clothes making sure to pull the tank top down so it showed off a little cleavage, not that I had much left after six months of running and eating almost nothing. I wondered if Seth would think purple was a good color for me, but that didn't matter either since he probably thought I was insane.

I cracked the door open as silently as I could and heard him talking. My heart started beating like crazy, I was so happy he hadn't left.

"…hates me Leah," he sounded like he wanted to yell at her but was keeping his voice very low.

"She doesn't hate you, Seth. No one in a right mind could hate you. Look even I can't hate you and I hate everyone." I heard her chuckle. I guess she did that a lot.

"She's gonna hate me soon." he sighed, "I don't know what to do Leah."

"You always do what's best, just stop torturing yourself about it." I could barely hear her so I stepped out of the bathroom to get closer. "But you're gonna have to hurt one of them and you better make sure you don't hurt both."

"She's just so perfect, did you see her? Her eyes and her skin and the way she blushes all the time and those freckles…" he trailed off and I touched my cheeks. He couldn't be talking about me. But I did have freckles and seemed to blush a lot lately...

"First of all, she only blushes because of you. Second, I did notice the rest I'm not blind. And third, I noticed she was the skinniest person I know and I thought you would notice that more than the rest. You should be ashamed of yourself, you so don't deserve her," she finished in a teasing tone.

I tried moving closer but the floor cracked and I figured they wouldn't be saying much more so I walked back down stairs. I found them sitting in front of the TV like they hadn't been talking at all. Seth was staring intently in front of him and didn't acknowledge the fact that I walked in. I couldn't help but feel disappointed even though I was pretty sure he hadn't been talking about me. He was so perfect and I got my mom killed. Why would someone like him even look at someone like me?

I crawled into the sofa and wrapped my arms around my legs, trying very hard to smile at Leah when she looked over at me. This whole situation was just awkward and for the first time since I got to La Push, I just wanted to be alone.

Someone's stomach started growling loudly but I didn't pay attention. I just felt like everyone was watching me and I wanted to go hide under the rug.

"You're hungry?" Seth asked, suddenly sitting on the floor right next to me. I looked down at him confused and when my eyes met his I forgot what he asked. I felt myself leaning toward him; it was like an invisible thread drew me to him. His eyes flickered to my lips for a split second and it was enough to snap me out of it.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked looking away and biting my lips. I felt his fingers gently tickle my stomach; normally I'm very ticklish but his hand was cold and it made me shiver.

"I-I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry." He said quickly taking his hand away, and somehow I found myself catching it.

"No, it's not that I mind… Your hand was just a little cold." I held on to his hand firmly even though my brain kept telling me I should probably let go now. He looked over at Leah, who was staring at me curiously.

"You think his hand is cold?" she asked apparently very surprised. Seth lifted his other hand up to cup my cheek with a panicked look on his face.

"Yeah, so?" I looked down at Seth; his face was now inches from mine. I could feel his warm breath on my lips; it was intoxicating, causing me to forget everything and my heart to skip a beat. The things this guy did to me were so unfair, especially since he didn't seem to notice anything. Of course he wouldn't, being at least 20 why would he give a second thought about a dumb teenage girl.

"You're hot." Seth said, placing the back of his hand on my forehead.

"Yeah, well you're not so bad yourself." I blurted out. God I was such an impulsive idiot sometimes! I felt myself blush and seriously considered digging a hole under the house where I could go hide. Before I could get away, Seth was picking me up bridal style and walking toward the door. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to the doctor, you've got a really, really bad fever." Seth voice was trembling and his arms were firmly wrapped around my body.

"I'm fine, Seth. I'm always this hot, just like you." I said leaning my head against his chest.

"I'm not joking Haven!" he yelled startling me, "you seriously have the worst fever I've ever felt. I-I'm surprised you're st-still…" he let his voice trail of like he didn't want to say it afraid it might come true.

"Neither am I." I whispered. "Just listen to me. Please?" I begged not looking up at him.

"Oh Haven, I'm sorry. Don't cry." I hadn't even realized that I was. He brushed his thumb across my cheek. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation of his skin against mine.

I felt him lean down slowly but didn't dare open my eyes, afraid that if I did I would wake up. When his lips touched my temple, I was expecting something incredible to happen. You know like when you're watching a romantic movie and they finally kiss. You get butterflies in your stomach and shivers all over. But that didn't happen. It just felt right and so incredibly comforting.

He moved his lips down to my cheek and gently kissed away a tear. My stomach tightened and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I felt the tip of his nose against mine and my heart started pounding against my chest. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself, and that sweet smell started tickling my nose again.

I waited for him to kiss me again but he didn't seem to be going to. I nervously licked my bottom lip. His arms stiffened around me and suddenly his lips were on mine. I gasped in surprise and felt him move away. My eyes flew open and I pulled his head back down to mine. His lips were so soft I felt this overwhelming urge to taste them and it took all my strength not to lick them. I heard myself moan in pleasure and frustration. It was so perfect but I wanted so much more. I couldn't even think about what I wanted, I just needed it. Seth growled against my lips before sliding his tongue between them. My body seemed to know what was going on and my mouth opened allowing his tongue to meet mine. He tasted so good that I moaned again not sure exactly what to do. Seth somehow moved me so that I was now sitting with my legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed me hard against the wall and I felt the skin of my lip break and tasted my blood in my mouth.

Right then I don't know why or how but I lost it. I growled before placing both palms on Seth's chest and let out all the energy I could to get him away from me. He flew across the room and slammed into the wall. I didn't understand why I did that, I mean I didn't fully understand why I kissed him but I certainly didn't understand why I had just tried to kill him.

He wasn't moving. Where was Leah? I couldn't go near him, what if I did it again? What was wrong with me? Why did I have to hurt everyone? I knew I should do something but I couldn't bring myself to move. That didn't surprise me, I knew now that no one could count on me for anything. All I could do was hurt people. I was such a monster.

After what felt like hours, Seth moved his hand around like he was searching for something. He looked like he wanted to open his eyes but couldn't. What had I done to him? Leah came running in and went straight over to Seth grabbing his searching hand.

"Hav…" he whispered, turning his head toward Leah, his eyes still closed. She threw me an angry look.

"What the hell happened?" she demanded getting up and flipping her phone open. She dialed a number and placed the phone against her hear while staring at me impatiently.

"I have powers." I said finally able to walk over to Seth and sitting on the floor next to his head. "I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." Leah started to talk to whomever she was calling but I didn't pay attention. All I could concentrate on was Seth.

He opened his eyes and searched around the room before leaping up. He looked completely panicked and I didn't dare move. When his eyes met mine he relaxed and picked me up off the floor hugging me as hard as he could. He really was way too good for me. I pushed him away gently and he looked at me confused.

"Listen, I need to get Seth to the doc to make sure he's ok." Leah said calmly. "When I get back we're going grocery shopping and you're going to explain these powers to me." She started pulling Seth out the front door but he didn't take his eyes of me.

"I'm so sorry, Haven." He said before turning and following his sister out the door.

I just stood there unable to react or say anything. He was sorry? For what? I was the one who almost killed him. Was he sorry about the kiss? Of course he was sorry, he obviously didn't ever want that to happen again. Who would want to kiss someone who tries to kill you? I certainly wouldn't.

I touched my lips with my fingers and couldn't help but feel disappointed. It had started out so perfectly but that was certainly not how I had imagined my first kiss.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, college work is a killer... thanks to dazz for betaing :)


	4. Losing Control

A/N: As always thanks to Dazz for betaing and being a great friend. If you get a chance go read her stories you won't be disappointed :) Please review if you have time, thanks!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Losing control **

« And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow. »

Gilbert K. Chesterton

It took Leah exactly four hours and thirteen minutes to come back. Not that I was counting I just happened to be staring at the clock. Ok, who am I kidding? I almost killed a guy, of course I couldn't wait for her to come back. Seth looked alright when he left, he even walked away on his own. I just hoped he hadn't collapsed on their way to wherever it was they were headed. I mean what in the world could have taken her so long?

When I finally heard a truck pull into my driveway, I leaped of the couch I was sitting in and opened the door before she reached the front porch. Her expression was unreadable which only made me more nervous. Maybe he was dead? No it couldn't be that, she wouldn't have come in that case. I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to him.

"Is he ok?" my voice was shaking and I held on to the doorframe for support just in case.

Leah sighed and crossed her arms across her chest staring at me angrily. My heart broke and I felt my knees weaken below me. Why wasn't she saying something? Anything? I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry. Crying is a privilege I lost the right to a long time ago. I felt my eyes sting and I think Leah noticed because her eyes soften and her lips broke into a small smile. "Oh for God's sake he's fine. The two of you need to stop worrying so much." She rolled her eyes and whispered in a very low voice. "Damn imprints."

"Imprints?" I asked and when she looked at me surprised I realized I probably wasn't supposed to be able to hear that. I always thought that it was because I was I wolf that I had better hearing than everyone else but maybe not. Apparently Leah didn't want me to hear it and if she knew about the sensitive hearing she wouldn't have said it at all, right? Maybe she just didn't mean to say it out loud.

"How did you hear that? Is that another one of your powers?" she pulled her phone out of her pocket and started looking for something on it.

"No I don't think it's one of my powers. What's 'imprint'?" I asked frustrated. She was acting strangely. She looked up from her phone and shoved it in her pocket.

"You owe me an explanation first, kid" She turned around and walked to her truck. "We'll talk about this later." She motioned for me to get in.

"Where are we going?" I asked crossing my arms on my chest.

"Listen, you say you're fine and I believe you. But everyone else thinks you're going to drop dead any second. So I'm taking you to be checked out by a doctor so they'll leave me the hell alone." She motioned again for me to get in. "Now will you just get in so we can get this over with?"

"I can't go see a doctor." I answered walking to passenger side of the car. "You know, with the fever…" I trailed off while I climbed in. Leah sat down behind the wheel.

"This isn't your typical doctor." She smiled and slammed the door. " Trust me, your body temperature is the last thing that's going to worry him."

We drove in silence as I stared out the window. It was raining again as it seemed to do a lot around here. I didn't mind the rain, it reminded me of my sister. She used to spend hours playing in it. I loved the way the rain runs down the window, like tears of happiness falling from the sky.

Something in the forest moved and caught my attention. I tried to look closer but the rain on the window was blocking my view. By the time I rolled the window down, whatever it had been was out of sight. I didn't bother rolling the window back up, I smiled as the rain started hitting my face and sat back in my seat closing my eyes.

"You're one special kid, Haven." Leah said interrupting my thoughts. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me instead of the road.

"Shouldn't you be looking ahead?" I asked pointing towards the windshield.

"Watching the road is for wimps!" Leah answered chuckling. She soon turned into a smaller road. "We're almost…"

That's when it hit me. The wind blew the most sickening smell I'd ever smelled right into my face. It seemed familiar but it had never been this strong. My whole body started shaking and I seriously thought I was going to shift right inside the car. I tried opening the door to get out but when I caught the handle it melted right in my hand. I felt so angry but I didn't understand why. I couldn't even think about where the anger was coming from, all I knew was that I need to get out of this place and away from that smell. I felt a hand on my back and leaped out the window.

"Fuck!" I heard Leah yell but I didn't turn around to see if she was alright. I was getting away from here and I was doing it fast. I started running, trying with all my strength not to shift. I felt torn in two; with my powers fighting against me shifting as I couldn't use them once I was in wolf form. I needed to let this anger out before I hurt someone. I stopped and looked around. All I could see were trees; I guess they would have to do. Placing both hands on the trunk of the closest tree, I tried to let the anger out slowly but it was too overwhelming and I quickly lost control. The pain I felt whenever I lost control of my power was excruciating. It was like someone plugged me to a 15 000 volt line and the worst part was I couldn't get it to stop. I tried pulling my hands of the tree but even then there was a huge electric current flowing from my hands to the trunk.

After what seemed like forever, I felt drained and collapsed to my knees. The tree was leaning dangerously towards me but I couldn't find the strength to move. I heard someone coming up behind me, whoever it was I wasn't going to let them get hurt.

"Don't touch me." I whispered, but the footsteps didn't slow down and I was soon being picked up and carried away.

"Get your furry ass down here right now." I heard Leah's voice in the distance and I opened my eyes to search for her only to realize she was the one carrying me. Why did she sound so far away? My head felt like it was about to explode and I moan. "Seth, I am NOT bringing her up there after what I just saw and if you even think about bringing one of them down here I'll make you wish you were a girl. No offense to the leeches." I growled at the word and Leah set me down against a tree. "Now Seth." She added and I smiled at the sound of his name. He must be ok if he was able to get up, I wondered if he would forgive me.

"What are you smiling at?" she demanded and I forced my eyes open. She looked so worried; she had the same look my mom had the first time I shifted.

"Thank you." I whispered, my voice was rough, almost unrecognizable. I felt her grab my hand. "I might hurt you, you shouldn't touch me." I said trying to pull my hand away, though she never let go or said anything,

We soon heard two distinct pairs of footsteps and Leah turned around to where it was coming from. I was already feeling better, though my head was still pounding. Leah walked towards the footsteps.

"What happened?" I didn't recognize the voice; it was a deep, strong man's voice and it gave me shivers.

"She just freaking lost it and jumped out the window." Leah answered. There was a long silence before she continued. "She must have caught the vamps' smell. I think she has a similar reaction to them as we do. I mean her hearing is as good as ours, her temperature is high. We could have that in common too. I think that's why she attacked Seth earlier, he's got their smell all over him."

"Will she let me see her?" Seth whispered. My heart accelerated and I smiled widely. The things he did to me. Leah was right you couldn't help but smile around Seth.

"No Seth she hates you remember?" Leah spat at him and I panicked. What? I didn't hate him, what the hell was she talking about?

"Oh." He answered. He couldn't leave, I wanted to see him, to apologize for everything. Why did Leah tell him I hated him? I had to tell him that wasn't true.

"Seth, come here." I whispered as loud as I could. My voice was still strange but it sounded much better. This healing thing was pretty useful sometimes. I heard footsteps behind me and he was soon kneeling by my side. "Hey." I said looking up at him.

"Hey yourself." He whispered lifting his hand slowly to my face and brushing it across my cheek. "I'm so sorry." I couldn't help but watch his lips as he spoke and remember how they felt this morning, the way they molded perfectly to mine, the way they tasted, the way his tongue tasted. I looked away before my imagination got the best of me.

"About what?" I asked blushing, "I'm the one who tried to kill you… You're supposed to be mad at me." I bit my lip nervously and started pulling out the grass next to my leg. Why couldn't I just act normally when he was here?

"If I hadn't…" he cleared his throat, "been so selfish, then you wouldn't have had to. I'm sorry for kissing you when you didn't want to." He said the end quickly like he didn't really mean it and he had to get it out fast before he changed his mind.

"I wanted to." I looked up at him and tried to look mature, like it wasn't that big of a deal. I probably failed miserably. "And I don't regret kissing you. I don't know why I lost control, I'm so sorry."

"Let's make a deal. How about we say we're even and forget about the whole thing." He said sitting down next to me and looking away. At some point it had stopped raining and the sun was now shining through the trees. The rays reflected all over the wet forest and seemed to be coming back towards Seth making him look like an angel. I considered refusing his deal and kissing him right then and there. Maybe I could climb on his lap and we could make out like I'd seen my friends do. The whole thing had never appealed to me before. But with Seth it was different, I'd have sex with him right now if he asked me to and that scared the shit out of me. So I did something I'd never done before. I thought about my decision before I made it. If I refused his deal, he might never want to see me again. If I accepted it, we could probably be friends. I could live with that.

"Ok, that's fine with me." I said it as convincingly as I could and he just nodded still not looking at me. This hurt more than it should which made me think I made the right choice. I couldn't let him have that kind of power over me and then lose him.

"We don't know if she can control herself around you. You can't stay here please." It was the man who had come with Seth. I tried getting up and felt Seth's arm around my waist lifting me to my feet. I smiled at him, tying not to blush.

"Jacob, you guys don't mind my smell so why should she? Now move." Seth helped me to where they were standing. Leah was with a very tall, very muscular man and a young girl who looked maybe eleven. She had perfect copper curls and porcelain white skin. She was certainly the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. The man turned to face us and stepped protectively in front of her as we approached. She rolled her eyes and pushed him to the side. I liked her already. "Hi! I'm Nessie." She held her hand out towards me.

"Hum…"I looked down at her hand and then at the man who clearly didn't want me to touch her. Not that I blamed him. "I'm Haven, but I'd better not touch you." I said hesitantly.

"Oh whatever, Seth's touching you and he's fine. I'm sure I'll survive." And with that she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I felt Seth stiffen and growl. "Don't worry Seth, he won't attack her while I'm anywhere within a 20 mile radius and once he realizes she's not going to hurt me he'll just relax." She let go of me and turned to the man. "Well aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

He glared at her before saying "I'm Jake, nice to meet you Haven." He didn't really look away from her when he spoke. Like she was controlling him and if he wasn't looking at her he'd be lost.

"The pleasure's all mine, I guess." I answered drily and Leah laughed.

"Will everyone lighten up?" She gave Jake a huge slap on the back. "Your stealing my role you know? If you become a bitter bitch what am I going to do with myself?" Jake unsuccessfully tried to keep a serious face and was soon smiling. "I better get you back home, kid." She said turning towards me.

I felt Seth move closer to me, if that was even possible. "Weren't we supposed to go get food? Cause I'm starved." I asked her laying my head against Seth's chest. He leaned down, took a deep breath and then kissed the top of my head briefly. I wondered if I would ever be able to stop blushing whenever he kissed me. It would probably stop if I wasn't imagining him doing much more than kissing me.

"Kid, you can barely walk!" She looked at Seth and rolled her eyes. "Fine whatever, but we're going to the store on the rez and we're making it quick." She started to walk away and Nessie followed close behind.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jake asked Nessie catching her by the arm.

"With Haven, I want to talk with her." She looked up at him through her eyelashes. He was obviously a sucker for that look because all hostility he had immediately disappeared. "Please Jake, I never get to make friends." This girl was good.

"Fine. But I'm going to get my car and I'll be right behind you." He tried to say it with authority but it wasn't really working.

We made our way back to the truck and squeezed into the front seat. This meant that I had to lean against Seth so I was more than happy about it. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his heart. I know this sounds cheesy but I hoped one day it would beat for me.

I must have drifted to sleep because before I knew it everyone was whispering about whether or not to wake me. I yawned and slowly opened my eyes. I recognized the store; I had to drive by here to get home.

"Hey, you don't have to get up." Seth whispered in my ear giving me goosebumps. "The girls will get you something." He kissed my cheek and when I turned my head to look at him his nose was against mine. I couldn't help but look down at his tempting lips.

"No that's ok, I want to go inside." I smiled and looked away quickly. I saw Leah and Ness waiting for me in front of the truck. Seth opened his door from the outside since the handle was melted inside and helped me get out. I was pretty sure I could walk alone but I didn't stop Seth from helping me. As we approached the store two big men walked out and stood in front of the entrance staring at us, well more at me. They looked like they were going to bite me and I shivered.

"Are you ok?" Seth whispered in my ear, his warm breath tickling my neck. I just nodded in response. As we got up to the two men, Leah tried to go around them but they stepped in front of her. They moved like they were one, it made me think of animals hunting. I shivered again and Seth pulled me closer to him.

"Collin, I swear if you don't move right now…" Leah glared at the first guy, he had a cocky look on his face and was only wearing shorts. The other guy looked younger and was wearing shorts and a t-shirt even though everything looked too small for him.

"Sorry Leah, Sam told us not to let her anywhere near anybody." Collin briefly glanced over at me as he spoke. There was something about him that was seriously off.

"Fuck him! Move." Leah moved closer to Collin in a sort of standoff.

"You did that already, LeeLee and he dumped you as you've shown us many times." He raised an eyebrow and continued, "Anyways, you know I can't move. It was an order."

Leah started shaking and closed her eyes, her jaw tight. Seth growled next to me. I'd heard enough. I pushed Seth's arm off me, stepping between Leah and Collin. I shoved him with both hands making him stumbled back.

"Who do you think you are? This is a free country, so move the hell out of our way." I shoved him again and he started shaking. "And speak to Leah like that again, I swear you'll know exactly why I shouldn't be allowed around others."

I felt Leah and Seth on either side of me growling and shaking badly. The other guy looked like he didn't want any trouble but Collin was clearly thinking about ripping me to pieces.

"Brady, go get Sam." Nessie said in bored voice.

"I'm right here." I turned to look at the newcomer. He was big, not as huge as Jake but bigger than Collin or Brady and even Seth. "Collin you really need to learn control before I lose mine." He walked over to Collin who moved back never taking his eyes off me. "You must be Haven. I'm Sam." He said turning towards me and smiling. Who did he think he was? He orders everyone to keep away from me and then he tries to play Mr. Nice? Was this guy serious? I guess Seth and Leah were thinking the same thing as me, since neither of them relaxed. "Come on Leah. You need to understand I didn't have a choice here. We're suppose to protect people and before we're sure exactly what's going on with her we can't risk having her around people."

"You do realize I'm right here and you can speak to me directly?" I asked as I felt the anger rising and the shaking start.

Another car pulled into the small parking lot. "Just perfect." Sam grumbled as he saw who it was.

"What's your problem now Sam?" Jake asked as he approached. Seth pushed me back behind him and next to Nessie who gave me an apologetic look. "If you have a problem, you call me. Got it?"

"Fine Jacob. But if anything happens it's your fault." Sam said turning his back on Jake.

"Girls, why don't you two go get what you need while we finish this conversation?" Jake asked turning towards us. Nessie rolled her eyes and walked inside the store. I hesitated a second and then followed her. I looked back at Seth before entering and he gave me a small smile.

"You're gonna make me puke man!" Collin shouted behind me.

"Shut up Collin or I'll beat you up myself." Sam answered him.

As we walked in I noticed a young woman sitting at the cash register, she looked up at me as I passed and smiled. I smiled back and ran to catch up with Ness. I could still hear them arguing outside but decided to ignore them.

"Don't worry, they're always like that." Nessie said rolling her eyes, "It's nothing personal. They wanted to kill me so you're pretty lucky." I gasped and she winked at me.

We walked around the store and picked up random stuff we thought might be good. When we figured we had enough food we went up to the cashier. She was incredibly beautiful, and had one of the warmest smiles I'd ever seen. Well after Seth's of course.

"Hi!" She said cheerfully, "So you're Haven? It's so nice to meet you. Are you going to be going to high school on the rez?" She said scanning the articles.

"Um, yeah that's me." I replied awkwardly, "I should be and it's nice to meet you too…"

"Oh I'm Amy. Maybe we can hang out sometimes before school starts." She handed me the change.

"I'd like that." I answered honestly. She seemed like a really sweet girl. "Well it's nice to meet you Amy. I'll see you around then." I smiled at her and followed Ness outside.

"See ya!" She called after me.

Everyone seemed more relaxed outside even though they were standing at safe distances from each other. Seth was leaning on a wall far from the door; I walked over to him and heard Collin make gagging sounds.

"Hey Seth!" he yelled loudly, "Why are you waiting over there?"

"Shut up Collin" Sam said in a voice that made me shiver and actually made Collin whimper.

Suddenly, a wolf howled which made everyone look in the direction it was coming from. It sounded like the wolf was panicked. There was another one, then a third. Jake and Sam looked at each other then at me.

"Can you drive?" Jake asked me. I nodded and Leah threw me her keys. "Then you and Nessie go to your house and you DO NOT move from there understood?"

"I'll go- " Seth started to say but Jacob cut him off.

"You know I need you Seth. I wouldn't let anything happen to Ness so nothing's going to happen to her either ok?" He kissed Nessie's forehead and started running to the woods with Leah, Sam and the others.

"I'll be back as soon as I can ok?" Seth said before brushing his lips on mine and taking off after Jacob.

Nessie and I walked slowly towards the truck and I kept glancing back toward where they had left. I wondered what that was about. I thought about Jake's worried look and couldn't help but worry too. What could scare someone as big as Jake?

"They'll be back you know?" Nessie whispered as she got into the truck, I noticed her looking quickly towards the woods. It was strange how mature Nessie was for her age, she seemed to know far more than a normal eleven year old should. "Jake always keeps a promise."

I just nodded; I didn't think she was really talking to me. It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself. I could understand. I was just as worried as she was. What we didn't know was that it was them we should be worried about.


	5. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

**Chapter 5: Girls just wanna have fun**

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"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

_Anonymous_

_

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_

The drive home was silent, that kind of uneasy 'I know something bad is going to happen' silence, when no one dare say anything as if silence might make the bad things go away. We were probably worrying over nothing but I couldn't get Jake's worried look out of my head. I tried convincing myself that there were at least seven wolves out there so nothing was going to happen to them. I hoped I was right, I was sure I would have felt a lot better if I had known what was going on. I glanced over at Nessie who was staring aimlessly out the window, clearly lost in her thoughts. A single tear ran down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. In the short time I had known her she always acted so tough, I wondered what she had gone through that made her act like that.

"Do you know where they went?" I asked holding her hand gently. She stiffened briefly before winding her fingers in mine.

"No…" she whispered and I squeezed her hand in encouragement. "They never tell me anything. It's always 'You're too young Ness. You'll find out soon enough.' I mean what the hell? Seriously, I'm not a baby. It just makes me so mad, why can't they tell me? What deep dark secret could they have that would be worse than anything I've seen up to now?" She was crying now, she looked angry. Her eyes held more anger then anyone should have let alone such a young girl. "That's what scares me, Haven. It must be terrible if he thinks I can't handle it."

"They're just trying to protect you, they just aren't doing it right." We were now parked in front of my house. Ness and I got out of the car and headed straight inside to lie on the couches. We hadn't even bothered bringing the groceries inside.

I was just so exhausted from all that had happened to me since that morning that I closed my eyes and tried to relax, possibly by thinking about something else than Seth. I wondered what Sean was doing. Maybe I could sneak out a little bit later to go see him. I know Jacob said not to move from the house but technically I wouldn't really be leaving the house.

"Can you keep a secret?" Nessie asked distracting me.

"Sure." I sat up in the couch and pulled my knees up against my chest.

"I've never really made a friend before." She said looking at her feet. "I mean, I have Jake, my family and the pack but I never really met someone I haven't known since I was born. I bet that sounds pretty lame, right?"

I smiled at her. "Well honestly, a little."

She stared at me for a moment and I was beginning to think I might have offended her. "Thanks." She said honestly. "I read somewhere that friends are people that tell you the truth about yourself even when you don't want to hear it. I guess that means you're my friend."

I was pretty surprised by her reaction. She read about friendship in a book? I thought she was exaggerating when she said she didn't have any friends. She seemed pretty nice and I could use a friend so why not?

"That sounds great to me. Friends." I confirmed. "So was that the secret?"

"No, I just wanted to know if I could trust you. Promise not to freak out?" she said while she came to sit next to me. I scooted over and turned so that I was facing her. I nodded eagerly and she leaned in closer as if there was someone else who might hear. "I'm kind of a monster." She waited for me to react and I nudged her to continue. "I'm actually a half vampire." I gasped and she bit her lip nervously. "But I promise I never hurt anyone and my family only drinks animal blood. We would never hurt anybody, so please don't freak out."

I just sat there unable to decide what to say. She started biting her nails and I figured if I didn't say anything she'd probably think I was losing it. "Vampires can have kids?" Nice Haven, make the poor girl feel totally weird. "I mean I didn't even know they existed and now I find out that not only do they exist but they can have kids and drink animal blood. That's just so cool."

"Well, my mom was still human when she had me. It's kind of complicated." She said catching my hand and smiling. "So you don't think that's weird?"

"Nessie, I can make my emotions become electricity and I shift into an oversized wolf. Nothing seems weird to me anymore." I noticed her smile fade as I spoke.

"You can do what?" she asked surprised.

"I can blow things up with my hands?" I asked hesitantly, I thought she knew. Maybe she was the one who was going to freak out.

"No, I know that. Well sort of, but you're a wolf? Like Jacob and Leah and all the others? How can that be possible?" she leaned in closer, her eyes full of curiosity.

"Well, my great-grand father was Quileute apparently so now I'm stuck with being a dog. How comes no one told you?" I was surprised they would tell her about my powers and not about being a wolf.

"They don't know!" she sounded particularly excited about this though I didn't quite understand why. "I heard them talking about your temperature and stuff, they had all kinds of theories but none of them even mentioned that you might be one of them. Serves them right, they think they're so special…" She paused for a moment clearly lost in her thoughts before she smiled brightly and jumped of the couch. She started jumping up and down. "We don't have to tell them!" I looked at her surprised. "Hey, they keep secrets from us right? This could be ours! Come on Haven, it'll be fun." She pleaded.

I thought about it for a minute. She was right they kept stuff from us so why couldn't we have our secrets. I nodded in agreement and Ness squealed so loud I swear my ears would have bled had I been a normal human. I watched her as she did a little victory dance and laughed. So I guess she could be a normal girl.

When she finally calmed down, she sat back down and continued our little plot. "Ok so we can't tell anyone unless both of us agree the person deserves to know." I nodded and she took that as her cue to continue. "Oh and we need to promise we'll be friends forever, you know have codes and inside jokes and all that."

"I'm warning you I'm not letting you drink my blood so that we can be blood sisters." I told her laughing and she slapped my shoulder playfully. "What kind of codes?"

"Well, I'll have to think about it." She really was taking this whole thing seriously. "Anyways, aren't we supposed to have girl talks and stuff like that?"

"Well I guess so." I thought about what the easiest way of getting to know Ness would be. "How about we take turns asking questions and then we both answer them?"

"Ok. I want to start!" she said wiggling on the sofa, this girl needed to take calming pills. "What's your favorite book?"

"I don't have one." I answered. "I don't read much. What about you?"

"Romeo and Juliet."

"Seriously?" I was a little surprised by her choice.

"Is that bad?" she asked nervously.

"You can like whatever you want as far as I'm concerned." I told her seriously. "So my turn. Who's your favorite singer?"

"I'd say Mozart, but he's not a singer. I guess I don't have one." I felt my eyes grow wide at her answer. She had very strange taste for a pre-teen. "That's no good either?"

"Ness, what you read and listen to is up to you." I smiled at her. "I'm just a little surprised that's all. So for me, I'd say right now my favorite's JB but I change a lot depending on my mood."

"Who's JB?" she asked in a small voice.

"Justin Bieber?" I said raising an eyebrow. When she just stared at me blankly I tried singing a few of his songs. She just kept on staring at me like she didn't know what the hell was wrong with me.

"Maybe you can put his CD on?" She said cheerfully, "I'm sure I'd like it." I nodded and did as she asked. She started bobbing her head to the rhythm. "It's nice, I guess. So do you like Seth?"

"What?" I felt my face become white.

"I heard him talking about you. He definitely likes you so I was wondering if maybe you liked him too." She explained. "Seth's one of my favorite wolves and you'd be perfect together, really."

I felt myself blush. "I guess he's cute… and nice." And as the sexiest body I've ever seen and his lips that taste like heaven…I couldn't very well say that to an eleven year old now could I? "How about you?" I tried distracting her. "I mean not Seth obviously. Do you like Jake?"

Her face turned every shade of red before she buried her face in her hands. I laughed and pulled them away. "Nooo!" she said blushing harder if that was possible.

"You do!" I pointed out and she giggled. "He's pretty hot isn't he?" I asked winking at her.

"You have no idea…" she bit her lip hard and giggled some more. "He's so perfect and sweet. Sometimes I think about kissing him and I get butterflies in my stomach." Her smile faded as she continued "I just wish he'd see me as more than just a kid. I'm sure he'll never even notice me."

"Aww Ness, that's because he's a good guy." I tried reassuring her. "When you're older, trust me he'll notice you and if he doesn't then we'll just have to make him!"

We kept on asking each other questions until neither of us could keep our eyes open. I found out she liked blood more than human food but she absolutely loved pizza. That her father could read minds and her mom could block certain powers. Apparently they had left about a month ago but she didn't know where or why. She also told me about her power which I thought was a lot cooler than mine. She said that her favorite movie was 'The Notebook' and that she cried every time. I had to agree with that. I told her that my father had left when my sister and I were little so my mom and paternal grandmother raised us. I told her stories about my sister and when she seemed envious I told her she was the closest thing I had to a sister now. She told me she was born three years ago but was physically 10 or 11. I explained that I was actually 15 even though on my fake id it said I was 16. I told her that I was hiding from the man who killed my mom so she couldn't tell anyone. She seemed more than happy to have another secret to keep. We went on and on about anything we could think about. It felt like I knew everything about her and she knew everything about me. Well everything except what really happened to my mom.

Around two am I couldn't think straight anymore so we went up to sleep together in my bed. I quickly glanced out the window towards Sean's house to see if he was around but all the lights were off. I'd have to go see how he was doing in the morning. We snuggled together in bed with her back against mine, my arms wrapped around her waist and very quickly feel asleep.

* * *

I woke up the next morning because the sun was shining right on my face. I rolled over to see if Ness was still sleeping. She was lying on her stomach with her face turned towards me, her eyes were closed and her mouth cracked open. She looked so cute that I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Jake, go away I'm tired." She complained and I had to laugh.

"It's me!" I whispered in her ear and started tickling her stomach. She giggled and rolled over to try to get away from me. Before I could stop her she fell right off the bed. I quickly scrambled over to see if she was alright only to find her laughing hysterically. I couldn't help but laugh with her and reach down to tickle her more.

"Haven st-stop" she squealed as her laughing got louder.

"Ok I'll stop if you tell me why you thought it would be Jake waking you up?" I helped her get up of the floor and onto the bed.

"He always comes to sleep with me." She said shrugging, a bright smile lightening her face. "He's supposed to sleep on the floor but I make him climb in bed with me."

"You are seriously the luckiest girl I know!" I said and she stuck her tongue out at me. "I wish I had a sexy guy sleeping in my bed…" I pretended to be hurt and turned away from her.

"Maybe you can ask Seth. I'm sure he'd be more than willing." I turned back towards her and blushed. "Did you guys… you know?" she asked biting her lips.

"Noooo! Jeez, Ness I don't even know him." Not that that would have stopped me but she didn't need to know that.

"But you two kissed right?" I immediately shook my head no but couldn't help smiling at the memories of that kiss. "You sooo did! I heard him talking about it and then the way he said goodbye to you earlier. It's so obvious! What was it like?"

"It was ok I guess." I tried sounding like it wasn't anything important but Nessie clearly wasn't buying it. "Oh whatever it was wonderful, I mean it wasn't perfect but it felt like it was. Well until I tried killing him that is… What did you hear him say?"

"He said you were the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen and that your lips tasted like strawberries." She started putting her hand out towards my face before hesitating. "Can I show you?" I just nodded and she put her hand on my cheek. "Close your eyes."

_What I saw felt like memory though it wasn't mine. I was looking down a long hallway at the end of which there was an open door. I could see Jacob talking to someone but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I moved forward slowly trying not to make any noise. I managed to get into a room that was diagonal from the one Jacob was in which meant I could not only hear what they were saying but I could see Jake. I felt like I needed to see him but it was strange because the feeling wasn't really mine._

"_You should see her Jake." I heard Seth whisper. "She looks like an angel, her skin is so soft and she's got long light brown hair. She has these freckles on her nose that stand out every time she blushes. Her eyes are deep blue eyes and her lips are so full and red and they taste like strawberries…" Someone let out a deep sigh._

_I heard Jake chuckle and his smile made my heartbeat faster. "I bet her lips were red after you kissed her, bro. Well at least you're going straight to the point. Just try not to sleep with her next time ok?"_

"_Fuck Jake, I'm such an idiot. You don't know how close I was…" I saw Jake lean forward and it looked like he was patting something. "No wonder she reacted like that I just fucking jumped on her." _

"_Seth, you need to…" Jake stopped talking spinning around towards the room I was in. _

"Then Jake caught me listening but we don't care about that right?" Ness said placing her hands on her lap. "I wish Jake would say stuff like that about me…"

"Baby, you're only three and you only look ten. You've got to understand that it would be really weird if he thought of you like that. Just be patient, you're already growing faster than everyone else. " I said pulling her into a hug. "Cheater." She giggled against my chest making us both shake.

There was a knock on the door. Ness and I exchanged a surprised look. If it was the boys would they have knocked? I jumped out of the bed and started running down the stairs laughing. I could hear Nessie giggling close behind me. When I reached the bottom step I saw her run by me at an inhuman pace.

"Why you little cheating vampire!" I yelled after her and tried to catch up but she was too fast. She got to the front door and yanked it open. She just froze and stared at whoever it was.

"Sean!" I cried out in horror when I saw his face. He had a black eye and his lip was badly cut. He had bruises all over his neck and face that looked maybe a day old. "What happened?" I pulled him inside the house and sat him down at the dining room table.

"Never mind Hav, I'm fine" he said pushing my hand away from his face. "I just came by to hang out. I'm sorry if you already have company." He glanced over at Ness who stood awkwardly next to the door.

"Did your father do this? If he did I'm going to rip his…"

"No!" he shouted. "My father never laid a hand on me. I thought I could come here to relax, if you're going to harass me then I'll go." He started to get up but I caught him by the arm.

"Fine, no more questions." I agreed. "Sean, this is my friend Ness. Ness this is Sean."

"Hi." Ness said uncomfortably switching from one foot to the other.

"Nice to meet you, Nessie." There was a long awkward silence before he added. "Listen, I'll just come back later, I didn't mean to bother you or anything."

"You're not bothering me, Sean." I pulled him by the arm into the living room and flopped down on one of the couches. I heard Ness close the front door before she came and sat down next to me. I noticed that Sean was staring at Nessie suspiciously. "Just trust me will you?" He nodded and relaxed a bit.

"How about we go hang out at the beach. For once, it's nice out." He suggested and I felt Ness stiffen next to me.

"Um- actually, Ness's supposed to be picked up soon and I promised we wouldn't leave the house. How about we play video games?" I asked nodding my head towards the games under my TV.

"Damn, you have a Wii AND a Play Station?" he got up and went to check them out. After looking through all the games and commenting on pretty much every one of them he asked. "How about we play 'Just Dance'?"

"Oh my god I love that game!" Nessie squealed jumping up and down on the couch. I had to laugh at how much she was still a kid. Sean seemed to think that meant she was ok because he actually smiled at her.

"Ok whatever you guys want but you chose so you two get to start." I stated lying down on the couch.

"No that's ok. Sean you go ahead, I'll wait." Ness said sitting back down on the couch.

Sean walked over to Ness and kneeled down in front of her putting his hand out. "May I ask you for this dance?'' She giggled and put her hand in his before getting up. "Let's show Haven how we can shake our booties." He added winking at her and she laughed. It was nice to see my two new friends get along.

They started with "U Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer and I almost choked I was laughing so hard. They really did look ridiculous jumping around and shaking their arms up and down. Sean pretended he was the hottest thing on the planet and Nessie could barely dance because she couldn't stop laughing. We played the game all morning until we were all exhausted. By the time we were done we were starving so we decided to order pizza since it was Ness's favorite.

"So Ness, where do you go to school?" Sean asked taking a huge gulp of coke while we waited for the pizzas.

"I'm home schooled. " Nessie explained. "It sucks really, I don't get to meet anyone my age."

"I wish I was home schooled so that I wouldn't have to see some of the idiots we have here." He said seriously and Nessie looked down nervously. Sean seemed to realize she was uneasy because he smiled at her and added. "But you're a pretty cool kid, maybe we can all hang out sometime?"

Nessie looked at me surprised and obviously wondering what she should say. "I'll have to ask her parents. Apparently they're weird. No offense Ness."

"They are so none taken." She answered just as there was a knock at the door. I picked up my wallet and went to open the door.

The delivery boy was standing with his back to me. I noticed he was wearing a long sleeved shirt even though it was pretty warm out. In fact the only thing that wasn't covered were his hands that were pale white and actually shinning. I was about to talk to him when a gentle breeze blew his sent towards me making me stumble back and gasp. I would recognize that smell anywhere; it was the same one that haunted my nights. As he turned around to me smiling, I realized my worst fears had just come true. The man who has killed my mother had found me.

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A/N: Sorry for the cliffy (again) LOL, promise there won't be one in the next chap :) So what do you think happened to Sean? I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks for reading and to Dazz for being the best beta ever!


	6. Failing

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, I have no excuse this time except that I'm free now so I was being lazy, then once I'd finally finished I had to send it like 4 times to Dazz because yahoo was being a jerk... So yeah I hope I didn't keep you waiting, it's not like I left you hanging on a cliffy last time...

As always, Thanks dazz for betaing and if you haven't read her stories you should they're rock!

Ok shutting up now: enjoy and please review if you get a chance :)

**

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Chapter 6: Failing**

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"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart I'll always be with you."

Christopher Robin

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I couldn't believe he was here. How did he find me? What did he want with me? And what would he do to Nessie and Sean? I couldn't let anything happened to them, I would give him whatever he wanted as long as he left them alone. He smiled at me, a cold smile that made my skin crawl. I shivered. I was surprised to realize I wasn't shaking and my powers weren't overwhelming me. I was just standing there, terrified of the man standing in front of me. I felt like such a coward.

He took a few steps forward towards me as I remained perfectly still. I heard Ness hiss making the man laugh. Without taking his eyes of me, he said. "Well, well, well. What a good catch I've got today. Not only do I get you, my dear but I get the Cullen child too." He lifted his hand up to stroke my cheek and I growled. His hand was freezing cold; his sweet smell was much stronger. I caught his wrist and yanked his hand away from my face. He looked slightly stunned before that stupid smile appeared again on his lips. "I guess I'm being rather impolite. I didn't introduce myself. My name is Demetri and I'm here to offer you and Renesmee a place with the Volturi."

"Never" Nessie hissed. Sean seemed confused and worried. I needed to get him out of here, he had nothing to do with this. I moved so that I was now standing in front of them.

"I'll go with you." I stated and I heard Nessie gasp behind me. "On one condition."

Demetri tilted his head to the side and examined me for a moment. "You are in no position to negotiate. Why should I accept?"

"Because if you don't, Ness and I will scream." He stared at me confused so I continued. "The wolves will hear us and I'm pretty sure you don't want to have to deal with them."

I felt Ness put a hand on my arm and images started flashing through my mind. I saw her and Jake playing when she was smaller. I also saw her looking about sixteen, kissing him as a couple of children ran around them. There was also a bunch of people with pale sparkling skin and she lingered on each one of their faces. I caught her hand and held it with all my strength. She didn't want to leave and neither did I.

Demetri just kept on staring at me. If I hadn't known any better I could have sworn that he hadn't moved an inch. It looked so much like a statue, a very bad smelling statue. I could hear Sean growing restless behind me. I was surprised he hadn't said anything yet. I wanted to turn around and look at him but I couldn't bring myself to look away from Demetri's red eyes.

"Very well. What do you want in exchange for your silence?" he asked.

"You have to let Sean leave safely." I answered, surprised that my voice sounded so determined. I didn't know what Demetri was but I was sure Sean didn't stand a chance.

"What?" Sean shouted, startling me. "I'm not letting you do anything stupid for me. I'm staying."

I finally looked away from Demetri and turned back to Sean with pleading eyes. "Please, Sean. I need you to trust me." I looked down at Nessie's hand and then back at her. She nodded as she put her hand on Sean's arm. He gasped before ripping his arm away from her.

"Please Sean." Nessie pleaded, her eyes full of sadness. He hesitated for a moment, then nodded grabbing Ness's hand. I looked back at Demetri who was now leaning against a countertop.

"Very well." He said waving his hand dismissively. "It's not like he smelled very appetizing anyways." I felt Sean wrap his arms around me and I turned around to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Run, Sean, as fast as you can. Don't look back no matter what you hear ok?" I couldn't look at him. We'd just met and I was already losing him. Without letting go of me, he pulled Ness into the embrace.

"I promise you, Ness." He whispered in her hear and she wept silently against his chest. He rubbed a soothing hand on her back until she relaxed and then set her back on the ground. He walked to the door and gave us one more look before he disappeared outside. I could only hope that he would forget about all this and live a long, happy life.

I turned to face Demetri pulling Nessie behind my back. She pushed my arm away and came to stand by my side. I felt her hand slide into mine and she used her power to show me exactly what she had in mind. It was a crazy plan, so crazy it might actually work.

"Shall we be on our way?" Demetri asked walking to the door. When we didn't follow, he turned back to us and cocked his head to the side. "Is there something wrong?"

"We're not going anywhere without a fight." I stated my voice strong. I still couldn't believe I wasn't completely losing control and I hoped my powers were still working.

Demetri laughed a dark, blood-chilling laugh and stepped towards us. I growled at him loudly and Ness hissed next to me. "You think the two of you stand a chance against me? Please. I wouldn't want to have to take your dead bodies back."

"That's the best you'll get." I spat at him.

He hesitated for a moment, looking from Ness to me and back again. I felt my body tense and prepared for the fight I knew was coming. I wasn't running today, I was fighting until my last breath. He chuckled as he shook his head and crouched down low, like a tiger about to pounce on his pray. This was it. There was no turning back now. My only wish was that Nessie would survive long enough for the wolves to save her.

I reached over and caught Nessie's searching hand. Images immediately flooded my mind, images of Demetri capturing us and forcing us to live far away from our loved ones. Not that I had many left, it was mostly the people she loved. The images changed to show Seth and Jacob mourning over our dead bodies.

As I watched them cry the anger began to rise in my veins and I heard Demetri whisper, "As you wish," before he pounced towards us. The images accelerated each getting darker than the ones before until it stopped on the worst-case scenario. Demetri was crouched over Seth's body, smiling at me with blood dripping down his face.

And that did it; I ripped my hand out of Nessie's and held them both out in front of us just in time for Demetri to collide with them. My whole body was shaking and I could feel the power run through me. But this time it was different. It didn't hurt and it didn't make me feel weak. The more power I used, the more I felt like I had. Demetri was yelling in pain, he actually had smoke coming out of his mouth and nose.

Suddenly, his legs came up against my chest and pushed me hard. I went flying across the room until I collided with the wall. I tried to get back up, but the whole room began to spin. Something warm was running down the back of my neck and the smell of iron filled the air making me feel even dizzier. I tried to see where Nessie was but everything was fading to black. I couldn't die now, she wasn't safe yet; I needed to get back up and fast.

I think I heard someone growl but it all was so far away, almost like I had earplugs on. I shook my head to try to concentrate but that only made it worse. My head was now throbbing and I began to feel very nauseous. I couldn't think straight anymore, in fact I couldn't even remember where I was. I knew I needed to remember. I needed to open my eyes and get up but I couldn't. I just wanted to sleep; the darkness was so welcoming and peaceful.

"Haven!" someone shrieked in the distance.. Why were they shrieking? My head hurt enough as it was, couldn't they just let me sleep? The person screamed again, it sounded like a painful cry but I couldn't be sure. It all seemed so far. The pain in my head was getting better though. Maybe I could open my eyes to see what it was all about.

I tried, but the light made me close them again. I whined and opened them slightly. I saw a dark figure holding what looked like a limp body in his arms. The strange thing was that it looked like his head was molded into her neck, almost as if he was kissing it. The body seemed so small next to the man, almost child like. Why would a man be kissing a child? I must be hurt worse than I realized; I was seeing things now.

I blinked a few times to try to get a better view. The pain in my head was almost completely gone, but a constant pressure remained. Like someone was trying to make it explode from the inside. The two figures became clearer and I realized I wasn't imagining things. The man was in fact kissing the child's neck. But the girl looked so familiar, like I should know her.

"Mmm" the man moaned against the child's neck. He lifted his face away from the girl and licked his blood-covered lips. "Such a pity, really. You do taste wonderful, Nessie."

Nessie. I knew that name. I concentrated on remembering it. Nessie, I repeated over and over again in my head. I remembered video games, but I was pretty sure this wasn't about that.

The man dropped her body to the ground and looked over at me. I pressed myself against the wall, trying to put as much distance as I could between us. He smiled and for some reason it made me mad, very very mad. I began to shake violently. I remembered running as a wolf. I must really be crazy.

"Come now Haven." He said stepping towards me. When I just growled louder, he stopped. "You don't want to end up like her now do you? Or worse, you wouldn't want me to do the same to one of your other friends? You know everyone you love gets killed, you can give them a chance if you come with me." I remembered my mother being killed and running away instead of helping her. I also remembered running from my grandmother. "Don't you want Seth to have a chance?"

Seth. That single name was enough to remind me of everything. Sean, Leah, Jake, the wolves, the pizza delivery boy who turned out to be Demetri, the fight, my powers, it all came back to my at once. And so did the anger. My body shook violently, and for the first time my powers didn't try to stop me from shifting.

Demetri's eyes widened as he watched me shift. I heard my clothes rip as my limbs grew and the fur came out of my skin. Once I was a wolf, I growled, bearing my teeth at my enemy. He took a step back and I swear I saw a hint of fear in his eyes.

I snapped at him but he dodged out of the way, scratching my left shoulder in the process. It didn't matter; it was already healing. He was now standing over Nessie's body and the sight of her lying there like that made my anger grow stronger. I leaped towards him, watching to make sure if he moved I would be able to follow him. He tried to get away but something stopped him, with a panicked look he glanced down at his foot and then back at me right before my jaws closed around his face.

I horrible metallic sound filled the room as I shook my head back and forth trying to detach his head from his body. Once it did, I threw it across the room and went back to the body to detach the limbs one by one.

After detaching the last part, I collapsed to the ground in human form, exhausted. The pressure in my head was getting worse and the throbbing was back, probably from shaking my head around. I crawled over to Nessie's body and pulled her onto my lap.

"Nessie?" I asked hopefully. She didn't even blink. "Nessie, please say something. Anything." I pleaded shaking her body gently but still there was no reaction. She couldn't be dead, she was a half vampire and they don't die right? I tried to convince myself of that but as the minutes passed and Nessie still didn't open her eyes or even move I began to lose hope. "You can't die," I screamed at her, tears now flowing down my face. "I'm the one he was supposed to kill, not you. Wake up Nessie, please just wake up." I was now rocking her back and forth, my whole body shaking in fear. I pulled her lifeless face up to mine and rested my head against her neck. There was no doubt about it; she was dead.

And so I cried, rocking my dead friend's body against my chest. I thought about all the things we could have had and done together if things had been different. Our time together had been so short and yet she already meant so much to me. If I could have, I would have given my life to save hers without thinking twice. And she obviously had had the same feelings for me even though I hadn't deserved them.

After what felt like hours, I heard the front door burst open. I crawled back against the closest wall, pulling Nessie's body with me. As the footsteps came closer, I let out a warning growl and prepared to attack whoever it was.

I was astounded to see Jacob walk into the room but I still tightened my grip around Ness. This could be a vampire trick. He walked over to me slowly, his arms held out in front of him. I growled louder and pushed myself harder against the wall. He stopped, hesitating before kneeling down.

"Haven, I need you to give her to me." He looked down at her as he spoke and the pain on his face was indescribable. He stepped carefully forward, never completely standing up. I recoiled slightly back; still unsure I could trust him. He frowned at me. "You know I would never do anything to hurt her. I just want to help her, please." A single tear fell down his cheek. I nodded and lifted Nessie's body toward him. He picked her up gently and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Haven. For everything." He added before darting out of sight.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I could hear people walking around the house but I didn't really care who they were or that I was sitting here naked. Nessie's body was safe now, they could kill me if they wanted to. At least the constant pounding I felt in my head would stop then. I brought my two hands up against my ears and pressed them slightly to try to relieve the pain. It had the opposite effect and my head began to spin again. I heard someone approach and soon some kind of cover was being wrapped around my body.

"Haven?" Leah's slightly distant voice resonated inside my head. "Are you ok?" Her fingers lifted my chin up and I forced my eyes open in spite of the pain. Her expression reminded me so much of my mother's. That worried look she would get whenever we got into trouble and she didn't yet know what exactly had happened. I tried nodding, since I was afraid my voice would betray me, but the slight movement sent the whole room spinning and I moaned. "Haven!" she exclaimed, picking me up. "What the fuck happened?" She was walking fast, and each step made me more nauseous until I couldn't take it anymore. I gagged and turned my head to the side. Since my stomach was empty nothing came out at first. I felt my stomach tightened harder and something spilled out. It smelled terrible and the taste was worse.

"What's wrong with her?" I recognized Seth's voice and soon felt his warm arms pull me away from Leah. I reflectively tried to snuggle against his chest except my stomach thought that wasn't such a good idea. I gagged again, throwing up that horrible tasting liquid.

"I don't know, Seth." Leah answered, just has a wet cloth touched my face. It felt cold against my skin, making me shiver. "Carlisle's taking care of Ness. He said not to let her fall asleep. No matter what."

"Haven?" Seth asked his sweet cool breath blowing against my face. I moaned in response, not wanting to open my eyes to the spinning room again. "You can't go to sleep, baby. I need you to talk to me." He brushed his fingers up and down my cheek as he spoke. I leaned into them and whined. "Please say something." He pleaded just as I felt something wet hit my nose. I opened my mouth to answer him but only slurry sounds came out. I tired again unsuccessfully. I panicked, wiggling around impatiently in Seth's arms as I tried to get the words to come out of my mouth. "Shhhh," he soothed, tightening his arms around me. "It's ok, just relax. You don't have to say anything, I just don't want you to fall asleep, alright?" He paused, apparently waiting for an answer. Since I didn't want to try nodding my head again, I just made a confident humming sound in the back of my mouth. "So how about I ask you questions and you just answer yes or no?" he paused and I answered him again with the hum. "Can you open your eyes?"

I tried blinking fast so that the light wouldn't hurt my eyes and I could close them quickly if the room began to spin again. After a few seconds of adjustment, I managed to keep them open, even if everything was out of focus. I could distinguish Seth's face, which seemed very close to mine. We had stopped moving, but I couldn't yet tell where we were. I realized that I could feel Seth's thighs under me, which meant he must have been sitting down, even though I don't remember him moving to do so.

"You have such beautiful eyes," he whispered, his face becoming clearer every second. His eyes were bright red and underlined by huge dark circles. I just wanted to comfort him. He shouldn't be crying because of me. No one should. I realized that maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was crying for Ness, I had been so overwhelmed by the pain that I'd forgotten about her. What a wonderful friend I was.

"I'm going to take a look at her now, Seth." A man spoke, I was sure I'd never heard him before. I tried to see him but he was too far away or my eyes still weren't working right. "She's in shock and we saw how she reacted to vampires. I need you to explain who I am."

I looked up at Seth and whined. I didn't trust the new man his voice was too smooth.

"It's alright, honey." Seth said kissing my head. "This is Carlisle, Nessie's grandfather ok? He's a doctor and he's going to try to find out what's wrong with you. I need you to trust him." I whined again and pulled myself closer to Seth. I wasn't letting that guy near me no matter who he was. "Do you trust me baby?" Seth asked in a calm, soothing tone. I hesitated slightly before humming a yes. "And I trust him, so please let him examine you. For me?"

Again, I hesitated before relaxing a bit. Seth smiled down at me as he laid me on the bed he'd apparently been sitting on. When he stood back up, I panicked and scrambled away, hitting my head against the headboard in the process. The pain in my head became almost unbearable and I screamed out in pain.

"Haven!" Seth's arms were around me almost immediately. I felt something extremely cold on the back of my head and it actually soothed the pain slightly.

"I need to make a hole in her skull to relieve the pressure. She has blood inside it causing pressure on her brain." Carlisle's voice said as the cold things brushed through my hair.

After what seemed like a very long time, Seth rolled me on my stomach and I didn't have the courage or the strength to resist.

"I need you to hold her tightly or I could kill her." I felt something being pressed against my head and the pain was enough to make me wish he did kill me. I began to feel like the pressure inside my head was slowly getting weaker when Carlisle sighed in frustration.

"What?" Seth asked in a slightly panicked voice.

"It's not working. She's healing too fast, I need to keep the wound open so that the blood will flow out."

I felt the pressure rise again. I bit the pillow trying not to moan but it came out anyways.

"I know, honey, I know." Seth said pressing his lips to my cheek.

"I need to bite her, Seth." I heard a growl and Seth disappeared from next to me. I whined and tried to move my hands to find him. "Calm down. Please, just listen. If I bite her I can suck the blood out without the wound closing. It's the only way Seth." Carlisle's voice was calm as he spoke and I could still hear the growling.

An intense pain shot through me and I screamed again.

"If you kill her, I will rip you to pieces." It was Seth's voice but the tone with which he spoke made it sound like someone else. Just like when you speak to twins and you can tell the difference solely in the way they speak. He sat down and lifted my head onto his lap.

I felt two freezing hands catch my head and then the most excruciating pain on the back of my head. I screamed as hard as I could, and fought against the cold hands. They didn't budge so I cried out for Seth to help me but he never did. I realized then that the throbbing pain from before was completely gone.

The cold hands soon let me go and I quickly scrambled as far away as I could. As I looked around the room, I realized nothing was spinning or out of focus and the pain wasn't coming back.

I saw Seth sitting on the other side of the bed, next to a young blond man with pale white skin, just like Demetri's. But I knew this man; he was in one of the thoughts Ness had shown me earlier.

"Nessie…" I breathed, slowly crawling back into Seth's arms.

Both men exchanged a worried look. The blond man, who I guessed was Carlisle, smiled at me warmly.

"She's going to be fine. I need you to get some rest now. I'll be back to see you in a few hours." He nodded at me, then at Seth and left.

I curled up against Seth who pulled the covers over us. "Sleep, sweetie." He whispered.

I closed my eyes, welcoming the darkness. I felt safe in Seth's arms but I couldn't shake away the feeling that something was off. Where was Ness? I was pretty sure she was dead earlier. How could she be fine? As I drifted to sleep, I decided that since Seth and Ness trusted Carlisle so would I. If he said Ness was alright then I believed him. Except that wasn't true, not exactly.


	7. Darkness

_A/N: _ Hi everyone! Sorry for taking so long to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll be posting another chapter by the end of the week (really lol) As always, thanks to my beta Dazz for everything. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 7 : Darkness**

_"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."_

_Terry Pratchett_

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The weeks I spent in a coma were some of the shortest and some of the longest in my life. The first weeks went unnoticed. I don't remember anything about them. I didn't hear anything, feel anything or even dream about anything. It was like those weeks hadn't existed for me. I remember closing my eyes after Carlisle sucked the blood out of my head and then I remember hearing Sean's voice. In between that there was nothing. I didn't even realize that there was probably more than two weeks between these two incidents. To me it felt like a matter of seconds.

That first memory was very short but it made me realize I needed to wake up. I couldn't understand what Sean was saying, it sounded very distant and muffled. The only thing I could make out was that he was shouting at someone, but I couldn't hear the other person answering. I tried to open my eyes to see what was going on but nothing happened. It felt like when you're dreaming and you try to wake up but nothing happens. Normally, I would have panicked but I felt exhausted and I almost immediately fell back asleep.

The next few times I woke up were pretty much the same. I could hear someone talking, mostly Sean or Seth, but I couldn't open my eyes and though their voices were becoming clearer I could never quite understand what they were saying. I fought to stay awake, each time a little longer. This was when I started to realize that there was a lot of time going by between each memory. I needed to find out what was happening.

It was about the fifth time when I was finally able to understand the voices. I didn't hear everything but it made me more confident that I was actually getting somewhere.

"What do you mean in a few days?" Seth's angry voices startled me. It didn't seem right for him to be angry. "I don't care, Edward, you need to…." I didn't hear the end, it sounded like he was walking away from me.

I waited expecting to hear someone answer but when then didn't happen I figured he must have been on the phone. I needed to get him to realize I was awake even if I couldn't open my eyes. I tried moving my fingers but I couldn't even feel them.

"Fuck you, if it weren't for her Nessie would be dead." Seth's snapped just as something was shattered. I strained harder, trying to hear everything he said. "Don't you give me that crap, you know I would do anything for Ness but she's alive and actually awake. She doesn't actually need Edward there. I need this, Jacob, please." The last part was a whisper that I probably wouldn't have heard if I hadn't been listening so hard. It did confuse me a bit though; I must have missed something because he was now talking to Jacob while earlier it was apparently someone named Edward. I tried to think about this but once again, the darkness drew me in.

* * *

"… hear something!" Seth's voice woke me once again. Had I fallen asleep or had I just zoned out for a few minutes? Seth was still here but there was someone else who hadn't been here before. I couldn't tell how long I'd been out and it was really starting to get annoying.

"It's very difficult for me to concentrate with all these people around." I didn't recognize the man's voice. "You see, I have never heard her thoughts before and since I'm used to yours all I can hear is you," he hesitated for a moment, "You also need to understand that she might not have any thoughts."

"What do you mean Edward?" Seth's voice was steady but the bitterness in it made me shiver inside.

"I'm sorry, Seth, I'll try harder." Edward answered. "If you really want me to hear Haven's thoughts, you need to stop shouting at me with yours."

Hear my thoughts? So this Edward was a mind reader? I remembered my conversation with Nessie. Of course, this was her father. I needed to get him to listen to me. If Seth could use his thoughts to shout at Edward so could I.

_Edward! _I mentally shouted. _Edward, it's Haven! Edward! _

"What?" Seth asked. "Edward, what is it?"

Edward sighed in frustration. "Seth, I understand that you're worried but I need you to keep quiet." I heard someone step towards me.

_Edward, please tell me you can hear me! _I shouted louder. I must admit I felt pretty stupid but it might have been my only chance.

"Haven?" Edward's voice was hesitant but it made my day or night for all I knew.

_Yes! Yes!_ I answered. _Can you really hear me?_

"Yes, Haven, I can hear you," he said simply.

"You can hear her?" Seth's voice was closer than before. There was a moment of silence before he added, "Can she hear us?"

"You can talk to her directly, Seth," Edward replied and I could hear the smile in his voice. If I could have I would have done a victory dance so I did a mental one instead.

"Haven.[,]" Seth whispered in my ear, I took a mental note that I could actually his cheek against mine. "I- I" Something wet ran down my cheek and my heart broke knowing I made someone cry, especially him. I wanted to hold him and beg him not to.

_Tell him I'm sorry,_ I thought.

"She's sorry she made you cry." I felt Seth's cheek leave mine has Edward spoke. I wish I could move, I just wanted to feel him again. It made this all seem so much more real. "She can't feel you holding her hand but she has recovered feeling in her face."

I felt something soft, probably Seth's hand, brush across my cheek and along my jaw. I smiled internally, but I once again felt tired. _Edward, I can't stay awake very long. What's wrong with me?_

"Do you remember the attack?" he asked. The hand on my face froze abruptly before disappearing.

I remembered everything as clear as if it had just happened. The delivery boy. Demetri. Sean running away. Attacking Demetri. Being thrown against the wall. Nessie's lifeless body. Nessie. Was she alive? I remembered that Carlisle had told me she was but I hadn't actually seen her. Where was she? I couldn't remember hearing her in my room. Surely if she had been fine she would have come.

"She's alright, Haven. She wants to come see you but she's-" Edward paused slightly. "She's just not ready yet. You've been in a coma for three weeks but I think you're going to be fine. I'll call Carlisle and have him come check on you. I'll also stay here so that you can tell me if you feel any changes. You should rest now."

Three weeks. Had I actually missed three weeks of my life? But I had been waking up before when Edward wasn't there. How long had it been? Had Seth really stayed here the whole time? I didn't even know him, why did he care so much? And why did everyone seem to act like this was normal? With Nessie and Sean it was different. We were friends, at least I considered them as friends, and I didn't know them that well either. But we had so much in common and we actually talked for more than two seconds. But Seth… It was just so strange. Why would he worry about me? And why did I feel so attracted to him? Sean was hot, not the hottest guy I had ever met but still and yet I felt nothing. I didn't have that constant longing and need as I did with Seth. I mean I even kissed Seth yet I hadn't known him for more than an hour. Actually, I didn't know anything about him and he didn't know anything about me for that matter. It all just felt so wrong.

For the first time since I met Seth, I actually wanted him to leave.

"Seth, I think you should-" Edward started to say but something or someone stopped him.

I felt Seth sigh and his breath tickled my ear. If I could have I would have jerked away. "Please don't ask me to leave," he whispered. I tried to reason with myself that I really still wanted him to leave but I couldn't bring myself to actually tell him that. He hadn't actually done anything wrong when you think about it. Isn't that what every girl wants? Someone who's there for them no matter what? Hell, I was in a freaking coma and he still wanted to stay with me. Was I really willing to push him away now? I wish I could have sighed then, maybe it would have helped. My sister always used to sigh before she made an important decision.

_He can stay, _I thought. _But he has to leave when he wakes up. He should go see his parents or whoever might be worrying about him. _

"She says you can stay for now but that you'll need to leave later and maybe visit the people you are close with." Edward seemed to have intentionally worded my thoughts differently, like he was trying to hint something though I couldn't tell if it was directed to me or to Seth.

I tried to relax but I couldn't stop thinking that everyone was hiding something from me. I wished they would just tell me. I was sure I could deal with it fine, in case they hadn't noticed I could become a giant wolf, blow things up and befriend half-vamps. I'm sure whatever it was they weren't telling me couldn't be that bad.

Once I fell I sleep, I had the first dream I could remember since the fight. It was one of those where you know it's a dream and you wish you could just wake up from it but you can't seem to do it.

I was wondering around a huge castle with a small dog walking next to me. I could see people in the distance and as I approached I recognized most of them. The first one I noticed was Collin because he kept kissing Amy, the girl I met at the store. And when I say kissing I'm trying to be polite about it. Next to him was Sean who was staring at the most beautiful girl I've ever seen though I wasn't quite sure who she was supposed to be. Then there was Seth who seemed to be in a very bad mood. His whole body was violently shaking and I smiled at him as I approached in an attempt to soothe him. God knows why I thought that smiling at him would help but it seemed like the best thing to do in my dream. The moment he saw me he pounced. One second he was standing there and the next he was a huge black wolf pinning me to the ground. I try to get away, I pushed, shoved, screamed for help and even try to wake myself up but nothing seemed to work. The others just laughed but I gained hope as Collin let go of his girlfriend and walked towards me.

He knelt down grinning and whispered, "You should have listened to me." Before laughing as Seth's jaws came down on my face. I closed my eyes and screamed.

"HAVEN! HAVEN!" Sean shouted. "Wake up!" I felt my head and shoulders shake. I tried opening my eyes and though I couldn't, I was glad that the nightmare was gone.

"She's awake now," Edward said. " And I think she's fine, Sean. It was just a nightmare.

I mentally laughed. _Do you consider most people in a semi coma "fine"?_

"Well considering you can now feel part of your upper body whereas yesterday you could only feel your head, I would tend to say you are getting better," he answered my thought.

_Yesterday? I thought you said Carlisle was going to come check on me? _ I tried not to think about Seth but my mind betrayed me and I wondered if he was still here.

"He came but you were asleep. He'll be coming by again today. Seth did as promised and left first thing this morning. I can ask him to come back if you'd like." I tried once again to convince myself I didn't want him back and once again failed miserably.

_Hey Sean,_ I thought , trying to change the subject. _How are you? _ Edward repeated my question out loud.

"I'm good. Well as good as I can be after finding out that my new neighbor is a werewolf that invites half vampires to have sleepovers before being attacked by some crazy real vampire. "He laughed lightly as he spoke, at least someone found this amusing.

_Sorry about that…_ I hadn't meant to drag Sean into this whole thing but I was glad that we wouldn't have any secrets between each other.

"Nah don't worry about it. I got to be the hero so it's all good." He chuckled. "First time _that_ ever happened."

_How did you get to be the hero? _ Though I remembered most of what had happened I didn't see how he could be the hero.

"Well, Nessie used her powers and explained everything, well the essentials. Then, she asked me to go get the other wolves. She showed me how to get to Emily's house and said -or thought or whatever you call it- that she would know what to do. So I did and well here we are so I guess her plan worked."

_Thank you, Sean. _I imagined how much courage he must have needed to do what he did.

"Don't thank me. Like I said it was Nessie's plan anyways. I just did what she asked."

_And that makes you my hero. I want a hug from the hero! _ You don't realize how important simple things are until you can't do them. A hug, a smile, a shrug, I couldn't do any of them and I missed them all. I really hoped I would be able to do it all again someday.

I felt Sean gently slide his arms under my upper body and neck and lift me up against him. As he held me, I realized I did feel something for Sean; it wasn't physical like with Seth but I definitely did feel something. I loved him like a brother, a friend, a hero. My brother, my friend, my hero. It was an easy feeling, it didn't make me feel awkward, it was just right, and everything about it was just so natural. We talked for a while, thanks to Edward's help. It was funny how he just faded out and it actually felt like I was talking directly to Sean.

Carlisle came by and checked on me. He was concerned about the fact that I couldn't see anything even when he opened my eyes but the fact that all my reflexes were working fine and that I could now feel all the way to my knees made him optimistic about my recovery. He said that my wolf genes were accelerating the healing process and that if I had been a normal human I might have been unconscious for years. That being said if I had been a real human I wouldn't have been attacked by Demitri in the first place. Before he left, he gave me few shots that quickly knocked me out and sent me into a much-needed dreamless sleep.

* * *

I wish I could say that when I finally opened my eyes the first thing I saw was Seth. If I was living in a romance novel then it would have been perfect, I would have heard the sound of his voice and unable to bear his absence anymore I would have opened my eyes to his angelic face. He would have picked me up and kissed me passionately. And we would have lived happily ever after.

Except I was living in LaPush and so nothing went like it should have. I did open my eyes but it wasn't because I heard Seth's voice. I opened them after another one of my very strange nightmares. I had a lot of them after the first one. It took me about a week after Carlisle's first visit to truly regain control of my body. Which meant I had plenty of time for those nightmares to haunt me. Each one was slightly different from the one before, sometimes the people didn't actually look like their real selves but I still knew it was them. And they all ended with Collin telling me I should have listened to him. Which is also why I had a hard time believing I had actually woken up because the first person I saw was Collin, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his beautifully sculpted chest and wearing the cockiest grin I'd ever seen.

"Figures that you would wake up to see me," he said, his smile growing wider. I searched the room to see who else was there but to my surprise there was no one. Edward never left; this had to be a dream. "Edward's gone to see Ness. He does every night because you never wake up anyways. Seth never came back since you told him to fuck off. Smart move on that one, I might have misjudged you."

I didn't believe a word he said. Edward had promised not to leave in case I needed him and Seth would have come back. He had stayed for three weeks, why would he just leave because I told him to? "Misjudge me? Who are you to judge anyone? Fuck you," I said actually surprising myself. I could talk. Another reason to believe this was a dream - well it was more of a nightmare right now.

Collin seemed stunned for a moment but quickly recomposed himself and plastering that dumb-ass grin on his face. "I love a woman with an attitude." I began to feel self-conscious as his eyes raked up and down my body. Dream or not I wasn't letting him look at me like a piece of meat. I pulled the cover up over my body. "Awww, come on you could at least let me look."

"Why are you here anyways?" I spat at him with as much confidence as I could gather, which wasn't much.

"I'm was on guard duty, Sleeping beauty. In case something happened to you." He walked towards me as he spoke and I moved back on the bed. Suddenly, he caught me by the arm just as I pushed myself of the edge of the bed. I gasped in surprise and if I was being truly honest with myself it was more from the proximity with him then from anything else. I couldn't help but notice his biceps tense as he pulled me towards him and sat me back on the bed. "Like what you see, beautiful?" he asked as he leaned down and whispered in my ear. "If you bit that lip any harder I think you might hurt yourself and then I'll get into trouble 'cause I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

I hadn't even realized I had been biting my lip. I was actually proud of myself when I didn't blush. I didn't really feel ashamed of myself. Collin was one of the sexiest guys I'd seen and believe me, I'd seen quite a few. He had perfectly toned muscles under light copper skin; his dark black hair was cut short but was still long enough to fall slightly over his forehead. His lips formed that cocky but oh so sexy grin he seemed to love and his light brown eyes held a haunted, mysterious look.

"Whatever." I shrugged it off. "I haven't seen anything in weeks. I'd be impressed by anything." He held his hand on his heart pretending to be hurt and I couldn't help but laugh. "So why do you hate Seth anyways?"

"Hate him? I don't hate him." He looked away as he spoke. "He's just a liar like the rest of them. I don't see why he gets someone like you and then treats you like he does."

"How does he treat me?" I asked confused. "He's been nothing but nice to me. A little too nice actually."

"Yeah, right." He walked over to the window and stared out in the distance. "That's because you don't know everything. You only see the good side of things, just like with that Sean dork."

"What the hell do you know about Sean?" His attitude was seriously annoying me. "If you have something to say then just say it."

"Sean's fine, I just don't understand what you find so fascinating in him. But since he's your friend I'll leave him alone now. I can't tell you about Seth, it's an order from Sam so I don't have a choice. If I did, believe me, you wouldn't think he's so perfect." He turned around to stare right at me as he spoke and his eyes grew darker with each word.

"Leave Sean alone? What did you do to him?" I was screaming at him now, my body started to shake and I could feel the wolf begging to be released. "And I don't give a fuck about Seth anyways, he can do whatever he wants as far as I'm concerned." It wasn't true, I didn't want him to do whatever he wanted. I wanted him and I wanted him to want me. But that wasn't right, he should have someone better, someone like him.

The door to my room opened then and a tall man walked into the room. I didn't recognize him at first. He was so different, so much older. All the childish features he had when I first met him were gone.

"Sean?" I asked still unsure. He nodded before glaring at Collin. They were now about the same size. I could have sworn a few weeks ago Sean wasn't much taller than me. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Nice to see you to, Hav." He said as he came to sit by me on the bed. "Nothing happened to me. I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to grow you know? Besides everyone on my mom's side are tall, so it figures right?" Collin huffed loudly but we just ignored him.

"Well, you look good." I winked at him. "All the girls at school are going to hate me."

"Oh please…" Collin whispered and I gave him the finger. What the hell was his problem anyways?

"It's so nice to have you really back." Sean said as he played with the rim of his shirt. "I-I missed you." I leaned forward and pulled him close. I let my fingers run through his hair, but often got them caught in knots. I don't know how long we sat there but when I looked up I noticed Collin staring at us. He quickly looked away but I'm pretty sure I saw envy in his eyes before he did. I wondered briefly what had made him so bitter and why he hated everyone so much. I would think about it later, I had more important things to do right now.

"Hey, have you seen Ness?" I asked Sean as he sat back up.

"No, I'm not allowed to see her," he answered in a frustrated voice. "All I know is she's not 'ready' yet"

"Yeah, 'not ready' is about right," Collin interrupted us.

"What do you know about her?" I asked sighing.

"Well she's alive I guess. Actually maybe 'alive' isn't the right way to put it." The grin returned to his lips as he spoke and so did my annoyance.

"Come on, Collin just spit it out already. What's wrong with her?"

"Well, since no one else is going to tell you, what do I get in exchange for this information?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"My eternal gratitude," I spat the words at him with as much disgust as I could gather. But to my amazement he actually seemed to consider the offer. He was silent for a few minutes; I wished I could hear what he was thinking. Collin was a complete mystery to me. Nothing he did or didn't do made any sense. One moment he was the biggest jerk I'd ever met and then he became almost nice. Maybe men have PMS too.

"It's a deal then," he finally answered. Sean turned to me with a puzzled look. "No one knows what's wrong with her," he answered with a shrug.

"What the hell, Collin?" I shouted at him. "That's not an answer. Why aren't we supposed to see her?"

"Because she's more vampire than human now. Actually, Carlisle's not sure she's human at all anymore. She might attack Sean, but I'm sure you could go see her, she thinks we stink anyways."

So she was a full vampire, that didn't sound so bad. Edward and Carlisle were vampires and they seemed fine. "Where is she?"

"At the Cullen mansion. I can take you but he can't come." He nodded towards Sean. "I'll be in enough trouble already, I don't want to be responsible for his death too."

"Go see her, Haven," Sean said standing up and walking to the door. "I've got to go home anyways. Just make sure she's ok and tell her I said hi." I nodded and he left, leaving me alone with Collin. Just great.

"Ok let's go then," I tried to stand up but my legs didn't seem to want to hold me up so I sat back on the bed.

"I can carry you, beautiful." Collin snickered. "Actually, it would be my pleasure."

Though I tried very hard not to get annoyed by his attitude it wasn't working but I could try to hide it from him. "Ok, am I going to ride on your back?"

He seemed to find what I said amusing because he started laughing hysterically. I just stared at him until he calmed down unable to figure out what I had said that was so funny. "Yeah, you can ride on my back for now," he said picking me up bridal style. "We have to go outside first so I can shift without breaking anything."

Once outside, he set me on the edge of the porch while he walked around the side to take his clothes off and shift. He came back as a large light brown wolf with black streaks along his back. He trotted over to me happily and laid down in front of me so I could yank myself onto his back. Once I was secure enough he took off running through the woods. I had never felt anything like it. I felt utterly free. Of course running as a wolf was fun, but I never liked being a wolf so that took away some of the magic. But being on the wolf's back as he ran and sharing his joy was just indescribable. Collin seemed so much happier, so relaxed as he ran that I almost forgot it was him. I laughed as he jumped over fallen trees and dodged through branches, yelping playfully.

I could tell we were approaching the house when the smell of vampires grew stronger. I felt my whole being grow tense, as did Collin beneath me. Once we got to the breach of the forest, he set me down before going behind a tree to regain his human form.

As I waited for him to return, I wondered why no one had told me what was wrong with Ness. Being a full vampire wasn't that bad, it didn't change who she was. Apparently vampires could learn to control their thirst so she would be able to be around humans again. And Collin had said that Carlisle wasn't sure if she was full vampire so maybe this was just temporary. I heard Collin right before he picked me up but it was too late to stop the embarrassing surprised yelp that escaped my mouth.

"Sorry, I meant to scare you." He laughed, and I stuck my tongue out at him. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be with this horrendous smell," I answered as I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I was happy I was going to see Ness, but all the secrecy around her was making me nervous. What if they hadn't told Collin everything either?


	8. New Friends

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay but my wonderful friend and beta Dazz is taking a break right now which means I'm beatless (I just made up a word, but it's 5 am so forgive me LOL) which also means this chapter is FULL of mistakes because I can't spell to save my life LOL so feel free to point out in your reviews (wink wink) any mistakes you might notice. Thanks everyone for reading!

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**Chapter 8 New friends**

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"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

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As Edward helped me up the stairs leading to Ness's room I tried very hard not to breathe. The stench from all the vampires living there was almost unbearable. Edward tried not to touch by skin directly and held me only were my clothes covered me but his freezing finger was slightly touching my arm. Though I'm pretty sure I didn't flinch, Edward moved his hand away from my arm. I blushed, realizing that he had heard all of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry-I-" I started but he cut me off.

"I understand, Haven, and I'm very sorry about all this." He smiled down at me. "I'm glad you came to see my daughter, she's having a hard time dealing with everything. I'm sure your presence will help her greatly."

I simply nodded back as he knocked gently on Nessie's bedroom door.

"Go away!" Nessie shrieked as something hit the door. "I don't want to see you! Any of you!"

"Ness, it's me." I whispered though I was pretty sure she could hear me. When she didn't yell or through anything, Edward took that as a cue and opened the door. That or he simply heard her think that it was ok for me to come in. I really needed time to get used to all of this.

"I don't want you in here!" She yelled at her father as we approached.

"I'm just bringing Haven to you because she can't walk very well yet." He answered ad he helped me sit down on the bed. He then turned around and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

The room was so dark that even with my super sight I had to squint my eyes to see Nessie next to me. I could smell her though. She smelled like the rest of the house, sickening sweet. I mentally gagged as I smiled at my friend. I stank to her too so at least we were even.

"Hey." She said shyly.

"Ness, I can't see anything in here. Can't we open the damn curtains?" I asked acting as if nothing had changed between us because besides the smell, nothing really had.

"Yeah." she shrugged as she got up and walked over to the closest window. She paused with her hands on the curtains. "Promise me you won't hate me."

"Nessie, you're my friend and you saved my life, I could never hate you."

She pulled the curtains apart and the room filled with light. It was dawn and the sun was still very low in the sky, so its rays didn't shine directly in the windows but it was still very bright. As Nessie turned back to face me, I noticed many things that had changed about her. First, the way she moved, like a dancer or a cat, with fluid and graceful movements. Then, her once chocolate brown eyes were a dark red though they still held streaks of brown in them. And finally, I noticed her breathtaking beauty. Of course, Nessie had been a beautiful girl before, but the young girl standing in front of me now seemed unreal. Her skin was now very pale but shimmered slightly as she graciously came and sat next to me. She looked up at me with sad eyes; it looked as though she was about to cry.

"Nessie," I hesitated, trying to find the right thing to say, " Nessie, you-you're beautiful." I knew it wasn't the smartest thing to say but I couldn't think of anything else.

"And I stink." She answered as she bit her bottom lip. I had to laugh at that and I scooted closer to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah, I probably don't smell that great myself." I said wrinkling my nose. "I've been in a coma for like a month and I just rode a smelly wolf all the way here so it figures. Not to mention that I'm a wolf myself so I naturally smell like wet dog." She pushed me away and pinched her nose as she laughed. It was nice to see her smile though her eyes were still very sad. I didn't like seeing her like that especially since I didn't know what the reason was. "Come on, Ness, tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing." She answered defensively. "Who asked you to come here? I don't need their help or his pity so why don't you go back and tell him I'm just fine?"

Him? If she was talking about Edward I don't see why she needed me to go tell him, he could hear her perfectly well. Again, I had a feeling I'd missed something. "Nessie, no one _asked_ me to come talk to you. Hell, no one even knew I was awake until I got here. I don't know what's going on here; I'm just worried about you. If you don't want to talk to me I understand."

She sighed heavily as she stood up and started pacing around the room. She seemed to want to say something a few times, pausing and staring intently at me before she resumed her pacing. Finally, she through her arms up in the air, sighed dramatically and let herself fall face first on the bed.

"Did you really just do that?" I asked trying my best not to laugh, "That looked like something out of a bad teen show. I never thought I see someone do that in real life."

She lifted herself onto her elbows. "Ha, ha, ha." she turned to look at me and rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on Ness," I laid down on my back so I could get a better look at her face. "If you want to be a bitchy teen, that's fine by me but I'm not your parents or your teachers or whatever so you don't need to go all dramatic with me. Just tell me why it's you against the world. Well you and me against the world."

"I'm not a bitchy teen." She said shrugging. "I'm not even four years old, remember?"

"Fine, then you're a whinny toddler." I tried to pull on her arm to get her to come closer to me but she didn't even seem to notice. She gave a weak smile and just stared at her hands laid out in front of her. I let her think, she seemed to be having an internal debate.

We laid like that in comfortable silence as the sun rose higher in the sky and the first rays of sunshine brightened the room. As I was staring at the ceiling I noticed the light was being reflected all over the room, as if it was shinning through glass. It was beautiful and I sat up to find what was causing it.

I glanced over at Ness to see if she too had noticed and realized her leg was shinning were the light touched it. It was breathtaking, as if her skin was made of thousand of diamonds, each one reflecting the light slightly differently. Nessie noticed me staring at her leg and quickly moved her leg away from the light.

"I'm a monster, Haven." She turned away from me as she spoke, wrapping her arms around her chest. "I mean, I was never normal but now I've lost every chance of even pretending to be normal. I don't want to look like a child all my life, I already hadn't except the fact that I would never grow old but now I won't grow at all. I just-I wish-" She let out a frustrated sigh as she grabbed the lamp next to her bed and threw it at the door. "I hear you, you know? Stop listening to my conversations and maybe, just maybe I'd consider calming down!" She shrieked as the lamp exploded against the door. I couldn't blame her, I could here them all whispering downstairs though I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. It must be hard having your family know every detail of your life, then again I'd rather that then not having a family at all like I did now.

"Ness, relax. They love you; you can't blame them for being worried. Maybe we can go talk somewhere else, just the two of us." I was saying the last part more for them then for her because I had the feeling they were planning on following us.

"I can't go anywhere! What if I want to eat someone?" She looked utterly disgusted at the idea.

I shrugged. "I'll just have to kill you first then." I answered as I got up from the bed; she stared at me in disbelief. "Oh come on Ness just relax! I'm sure you won't try to kill anyone and if you do I'll knock you out of it and find a dear or something for you to chew on." She smiled then and jumped lightly to her feet.

We jumped out her bedroom window, not bothering to mention that we were leaving since everyone had obviously heard it. At first, we started out walking but our playful natures quickly took over and we found ourselves racing through the woods. I didn't know where we were headed to but it didn't seem to matter right now. I tried to stay human as long as I could but if I thought half vampires were fast, that was nothing compared to how fast she was now.

"Hey, wait up cheating vamp. I need to take my clothes of to phase." I called out to her as I slowed down.

"You dogs are such sore losers. Just admit I'm faster and maybe I'll let you win." She smiled at me wickedly and I feigned to be hurt.

I didn't bother hiding as I took of my shirt and shorts, instead I simply faced the other way. As I was pulling of my shorts, I heard a wolf howl a short distance away. I heard Nessie gasp behind me so I turned to see what was wrong.

"We're in LaPush." She answered my questioning face and when I didn't seem to understand she continued. "I'm a vampire now, I'm not allowed in LaPush. I didn't mean to come here, it's just that this is were I run too when I want to get away from my parents because I'm sure they can't follow me."

She looked genuinely panicked though I didn't understand what the difference was; she was still the same girl, maybe an angry version of the old Ness, but Nessie nonetheless. Why would they stop her from coming here now? But she was right, they were coming for us, I could hear their paws pound the ground as they approached. I needed to think fast.

"We'll out run them." I blurted the idea out because it was the first thing that came to mind but Ness seemed to like it since she was now smiling. "They'll give up eventually right? How long are they going to keep you out of LaPush anyways? I mean, they're certainly not going to stop you from coming to my house right?" She just nodded in agreement. I concentrated on phasing and before I could blink I was on all fours. No pain, no inner-conflict, just a fast, easy change. I could get use to it.

I lined up with Ness as if we were standing on the starting line and yelped playfully at her. We could hear the wolves get dangerously close but it wouldn't be any fun if we got too much of a head start. So we waited, both ready to take off at the first sign of danger, listening to the rhythmic sounds of the wolves approaching. There were four of them, from what I could hear, and they were coming by pairs from each side. The two from our right seemed to be closer and closing in fast. I could tell Ness was thinking the same thing as me by the way she kept glancing towards that part of the woods. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my body and it took all my self-control not to just take of.

Suddenly, a wolf leaped out of nowhere. Neither of us had heard him coming since we were paying so much attention to the other four. He landed on my back and I slide across the forest floor. I quickly got back up with a fierce growl ready to attack but I stopped dead on my tracks. I knew that wolf; I recognized his light brown fur and his distinctive black streaks. Collin was officially the biggest ass in wolf history and I was going to royally kick his sorry ass. I glanced over at Ness and nodded for her to take of. She didn't move and I could hear the others getting closer. I barked at her and nudged her with my head. She finally snapped out of it and ran.

I turned back to Collin who seemed not even to care about what Nessie was doing. He was just staring at me with that stupid grin. Who would have thought that he would have the same grin in wolf form? I growled at him he response and raised my shoulders menacingly. He crouched down low, ready to attack. We were evaluating each other, both waiting for the other to make a wrong move. Everything was about instinct now; rational thoughts seemed to have vanished.

I noticed how he was leaning slightly more on his hind legs, which made me think he was more defensive and wasn't going to be the one starting the attack. He held his head low, if I attacked to high he would have easy access to my neck and that would mean I would lose. He might be a jerk but he was a smart one. I needed to distract him long enough for me to surprise him. So how do you distract a seemingly well-trained wolf?

As I thought about different solutions, Collin tilted his head to the side and grinned wider. And then it hit me. He might be in his wolf form and well trained but a teenage boy will always be a teenage boy. I had my plan.

I leaped forward leaving him plenty of access to my neck, and he took the bait. His teeth came slamming down, making me yelp in pain. We rolled until we hit a tree, nearly knocking it over, and has I had hoped Collin was now on top of me, jaw firmly attached to my neck. I whined and pretended to try to get up just to make sure he was enjoying everything. And then I relaxed, concentrated and phased back to my human form, my very naked human form.

He clearly hadn't been expecting it. The look on his face was priceless and I would have given anything to have a camera right then. To make sure he was completely under my control I decided to add a little something.

"Collin, please." I begged as I pushed gently on his mouth that was still closed tightly around my neck. "You're hurting me." He let go immediately but didn't move from over me. I wiggled my body out from under him making sure to rub my self against him as much as possible. It was funny watching him stand there. I crawled up against a tree and pretended to cry, I swear I had never been so proud of myself. Seconds later, he was back in human form and I could hear him putting his shorts back on.

"Hey, I'm sorry." He said kneeling down next to me. "Please Beautiful, just let me look. I didn't mean to bit you so hard." I could hear the panic in his voice; I have to admit for a slip second I felt guilty for torturing him like this but only for a second.

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled as I got up and pretended to walk over to my clothes.

"Haven, really I was being an idiot. I'm sorry." He begged as I turned around to face him again. He glanced down at my still naked body before forcing his eyes to look away. I got him just where I needed him.

Without hesitating I leaped at him, shifting in midair. He didn't even have time to realize what was happening. In a split second I had him laying back down with my teeth sunk deep into his neck. He looked completely stunned and I never felt better. He did put up a little fight though, instincts are good about that, but since I was holding his neck there wasn't much he could do so he eventually gave up. I let him go once he was completely still and moved back to give him that same annoying grin. Though he looked pretty mad at first, he was soon grinning to. I guess he was never going to lose that one.

"Nice move, Gorgeous." He said as I pulled my clothes back on. "I like a woman who knows what she's worth."

"Whatever, Collin." I answered waving him off. "I'm just smarter than you, which isn't very difficult."

"Now don't say this to anyone, but I have to admit you were pretty good." He crossed his arms over his chest causing his muscles to bulge. I tried not to notice.

"I have to go find Ness, it wasn't nice seeing you." I started to run in the direction she had left but Collin stopped me.

"They already found her." He said simply as he rubbed the still bright red teeth marks on his neck.

"What?" I asked instantly panicked. "How do you know that? What are they going to do to her?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it. Dumbass Kevin didn't know it was Ness since her smell changed and got all nervous. Then they had to catch up with her to make sure she didn't hurt someone. They aren't very far." He replied as we began to walk away to find Ness.

"How do you know all this?" I had watched him the whole time and he hadn't called them.

"Pack mind, it comes with being a wolf. Don't you hear Jacob's pack?"

"No, I only hear my self when I'm a wolf. What is it like?" I was curious about this and especially curious to why I couldn't hear anyone else.

"Well, believe me you're lucky. The rest of the pack can hear all of your thoughts. It's annoying but-" He hesitated before turning to me. He caught me by the shoulders and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "I know how to hide mine sometimes, just don't tell anyone." He leaned back and winked at me.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. It was only a couple of minutes before was heard many voices happily chattering. When we walked out of the forest I saw Nessie surrounded by four very impressive men. I recognized one as being Brady but I was pretty sure I had never seen the others.

"Haven!" Nessie came running over and jumped into my arms when she saw me. I flinched slightly at her cold skin. "Are you ok?" She asked leaning back to examine me.

"I'm fine, Ness. Collin's the one you should be worried about." I nodded toward him and everyone turned to look in that direction. One of the boys, walked over to get a closer look.

"Aww dude she bit the crap out of you!" he shouted before laughing.

"Shut up, Jordan." Collin replied punching him lightly. Well, lightly for a wolf. "She went all naked on me and trust me it was worth the bite." He looked all dreamy, probably remembering the scene.

"Man, I wish I'd seen that." Jordan said excitedly. "You'll just have to think about it later." He turned to wiggle his eyebrows at me. I swear boys are disgusting.

"No way in hell I'm showing you that." I must admit I was surprised, I didn't even have to beg him not to. "Anyways, Haven meet Jordan, the perv, you remember Brady. That's my little brother Kevin and then there's Josh." He said nodding to each on of them. I noticed then that Kevin did look a lot like a younger version of Collin, but his eyes were lighter which made him less aggressive.

"Ok who wants to go cliff diving?" Josh said enthusiastically. I felt Ness grow restless next to me.

"Jordan and I are still on patrol." Kevin said getting up from his seat and walking towards the forest with Jordan dragging his feet closely behind.

"Yeah, I should go to, my shift starts in ten minutes." Brady mumbled running after them.

"You girls up for it?" Josh asked looking straight at Ness who nodded and immediately walked over to grab his waiting hand. They seemed comfortable together so I didn't worry.

We all walked to the top of the cliff where Ness and Josh ran and jumped of without even hesitating. I however went to look at what was waiting for me on the bottom and believe me it wasn't pretty. The waves were hitting what looked like razor sharp rocks and I for one didn't want to be in them when they did.

"What's wrong babe?" Collin asked as he stood right behind me when I was already to close to the edge. I never liked heights but with Collin sanding behind me ready to push me off at any moment I liked them even less.

"If you push me of I swear I'll rip your head off." I warned as I back into him.

"I would never do that." He answered wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me back against him. "But I'll jump with you if you want. Just tell me when you're ready, I promise I won't let you go." His voice was calm and reassuring. I closed my eyes and convinced myself that I wasn't going to back down now so I nodded. "On three then. One, two, three." We both jumped forward and of the edge. Collin tightened his hold around me and I somehow opened my eyes. The fall was short but worth every second of it. I'd never felt something so intense in all my life.

When we hit the water, a wave threw us against the cliff and Collin let go. I knew he hadn't meant to but I panicked. I looked around but he was nowhere in sight so I dove back in. I couldn't see anything in the dark waters and the waves just kept pushing me back against the cliff.

Suddenly someone yanked me out of the water and into his arms. "Hav, are you ok?" Collin's panicked voice asked and I relax against him. "I didn't mean to let go, I'm sorry."

"I thought you had drown, don't do that to me again or I'll- I'll" I punched his chest as hard as I could and watched the bruise form and quickly disappear.

"I know, you'll rip my head off." He finished the sentence for me and I laughed.

"That's right. You scared the shit out of me." I pushed on his chest and he let me lean back though he didn't completely let go. "You might be a self centered jackass but I don't want you dying on me, understand?"

"Anything for you, Beautiful." He answered looking away.

"Will you stop doing that?" I demanded.

"Doing what?" He asked looking back at me and cocking an eyebrow.

"Giving me little nicknames when no one's around. Why do you do that anyways?" It looked like he blushed slightly but I couldn't be sure.

"I'm not giving you nicknames, I'm just pointing out the obvious." He ran a finger down my cheek before grabbing my chin. "I don't do it in front of others because I'm not allowed to. Pack rules and all."

"What pack rules?" I leaned further away.

"We can't touch another wolf's imprint so even though nicknames isn't really touching, I'd rather them not knowing so I can keep it up." He said shrugging. "Let get out of here." He caught my hand and guided me along the edge until we were at the beach. I heard Nessie shriek as she jumped of the cliff. I wasn't doing that again for a long time but it was nice to see she was having fun.

"So I'm Seth's imprint right?" I asked Collin as we sat down on the beach. He nodded in response so I continued. "What does it mean? And why can't you touch someone else's imprint?"

"Imprinting is-it's-" he stopped and sighed in frustration. "I'm not allowed to tell you because my alpha, Sam, ordered us not to. Which makes explaining the second question pretty complicated but I'm sure once Seth explains it to you you'll understand." I noticed his eyes grow darker as he spoke; I reached for his hand and squeezed it to try to comfort him.

"So do you have an imprint?"

"No, thank God." He chuckled. I guessed imprinting wasn't that great, I wish Seth would just explain it to me. "And you, Babe, are the unluckiest imprint of all times. Just so you know."

"Thanks for the encouraging words, Collin." I said sarcastically. "Now I _reeeallly_ want to know what it is."

"Hey you might be happy about it when you find out, I just don't think it's the best choice you can make." He said as he got up. "But I'm not being very impartial. Anyways I've gotta go, so I'll see you around." He was backing away as he spoke.

"Yeah, see you." I answered. I watch him jog lightly away on the beach. Maybe I had misjudged Collin. Besides being a self centered overly confident prick, he was pretty cool and easy to talk to. My mind drifted to Seth and I wondered briefly where he was and what he was up to. I shook my head to try to get him out. He didn't care enough to come see me, not that I blame him. But I had a more realistic relationship with Collin and at least he was around to talk to. I guess I wasn't very good at judging character.


End file.
